Your 'Blood, Sweat, & Heels' Crash Course

Blood, Sweat & Heels is the understated jewel in Bravo's reality crown. Seriously, while a bunch of the Housewives franchises are getting long in the tooth and boring, Season 1 of Blood, Sweat & Heels was funnier, smarter, and way weirder than so many other shows. I love it, and seriously, you should too, if you love watching grown women with admirable jobs reduced to yelling reads at one another on a boat in New York in the summer. And hey, it's nice to see some accomplished black women on the network as well, even though "Bravo reality star" isn't exactly the most sterling way to prove your qualifications.

Blood, Sweat & Heels isn't about the plot, for the most part. There's no big promotion that you want to know about or cliffhangers about what's going to happen next. The biggest thing carrying from one week to the next is "what absurd thing will Mica do?" It's mostly a collection of barely related adventures where the neuroses of each women rise to the surface, explode, and reverberate through their relationships.

The show combines the personal lives of these women and their friendships with the ongoing struggles of being a careerist in New York City. While they all seem pretty successful, they still struggle with maintaining this Bravo-curated friend group, where the personalities are designed to clash. But the main thing that will determine whether or not you love the show is whether or not you love the cast. And as each set of episodes go by, I can guarantee you'll be remembering the antics of each individual cast member. So before you make your decision about whether or not to watch Season 2 on Blood Sweat and Heels' March 29 premiere, recap Season 1, just to remind you how much fun this show can be.

Episodes 1: Daisy, The Instigator

Personally, I thought Daisy was a real weirdo. I loved her role in the show, of course, and I don't mean to denigrate her personally, but she's delightfully wacky, like the real version of Mindy's character in The Mindy Project.

Anyhow, the show begins with Daisy's explosive brunch/relationship talk. She's the type of girl who shows up hours late to her producer-arranged date. All the ladies are in agreement that snooping on your boyfriend is OK because men often cheat. Except one.

Episode 2: Demetria, The BLOGGGGEEEERRRR

Demetria is a writer about relationships who's just recently found her own true love, a who is so devoted to her that he doesn't mind that she's constantly schlepping up to Harlem for dinner parties. Demetria's biggest flaw is that she's so stubborn that she refuses to back down from any fight.

Episode 3: Geneva, Life Of The Party

At an event for Geneva's high profile new job at a magazine, Melyssa and Mica (we'll get to them) make a huge scene, giggling and laughing and being obnoxious. This quickly spirals into a rivalry between Mica and Geneva. And as we'll find out, poor Geneva is totally outmatched. She's a mess, and can't even figure out dating or eye makeup. But she's scrappy.

Episode 4: Mica, The Troubled Free Spirit

Mica, the immediate star of the show, encapsulates the weirdest and best parts of the show. She's got a big head of (fake) hair, she's a former model who now coaches up and coming new models in the Cynthia Bailey mold. She's exactly what Tyra Banks aspires to be.

Anyhow, she has a way with a glass of wine, a chinchilla, and a sharp read. But when Mica's father goes to the hospital and eventually passes away, her grief is messy and explosive, just like the rest of her personality, and she starts to consume massive amounts of alcohol. But it just doesn't mix with the high-strung environment of the Hamptons house where the ladies are staying.

Episode 5: Melyssa, The Former Video Vixen

Melyssa is gorgeous, used to be in tons of music videos from the 2000s, is totally down-to-Earth, but is totally crap with handling her finances. Her foray into the real estate business isn't totally successful.

But Melyssa is like a romantic comedy heroine — sweet, with a gorgeous smile, and somehow still single. Most of the time, she negotiates between the girls, but in this episode she gets a little spotlight as she resorts to exploiting her video past for some extra cash.

Episode 6: Brie, The Bougie One

Brie is the only BS&H cast member to not return for Season 2, and that's fitting because she's just too bougie to be a part of this show. She's reserved, she's very WASPy (is BASPy a thing? I just mean she hails from wealthy folk), and she flips out at Mica's drunken, grief-stricken outbursts.

Look, not every expression of emotion can be as reserved as Brie's. I mean, she's named after the fanciest type of cheese.

Episode 7: The Greatest Diss Of All Time

It's not nice. It's not politically correct. It hits way below the belt. But this Mica/Geneva fight spawned some hilarious moments. I mean... how often do people throw out Too Wong Foo references? And seriously, Geneva, fix that eye makeup!

Episodes 8-9: All Hell Breaks Loose

From here on out, the big explosions and then the slow end of the season go down. Mica and Geneva/Mica and Brie continue to have it out for one another, especially as two camps form over whether or not Mica should seek help for potential alcohol addiction.

Demetria clashes with Daisy (yes, it dates all the way back to the blog thing) over attending a book event. But in the end, trapping the ladies on a yacht is enough to force a temporary reconciliation... until Season 2, at least.

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