7 'Into The Woods' Songs That Perfectly Describe Your Love Life

As far as I'm concerned, classic musicals like Stephen Sondheim's Into The Woods are often considered "classic" because of their ability to speak common experiences and feelings across generations — and that is exactly what Into The Woods does. I wouldn't call them "universal" experiences because having your town overrun by giants seems like a unique situation, but the musical, now a movie starring Meryl Streep, Chris Pine, Anna Kendrick, and Emily Blunt, definitely has a broad appeal. The songs are catchy, the story is easy to follow, and the sexual undertones are overt. If you think Into The Woods is a nice, safe family musical about fairy tales and princesses, you'd be mistaken. Into The Woods is about sex and death. The prince and the baker's wife have an anonymous hook up in the forrest, the witch is an abusive helicopter parent, the wolf is really sketchy, and everyone dies.

Into The Woods may have started out as a gem of the early '90s starring Bernadette Peters, but this musical still holds up as a metaphor for your equally dismal love life. For anyone who knows the musical by heart because they were in an age-inappropriate children's theatre production of Into The Woods as a kid, these next songs from this defining work of our generation will perfectly describe every stage of your love life.

Your relationship status:

Song: "Agony"

Forever alone.

Deciding if you should hook up with your ex:

Song: "Any Moment"

If your ex is Chris Pine, the answer is yes.

The fleeting moment you think about getting back together with your ex:

Song: "It Takes Two"

Before you remember that they used to steal your Chapsticks and never give them back like some sort of monster.


Song: "I Know Things Now"

You've seen things. Wonderful and terrifying things.

The first and last time you went out in high heels:

Song: "Careful My Toe"

Never again.

Your walk of shame:

Song: "On The Steps of the Palace"

This is your inner monologue.

Deleting your OK Cupid profile and embracing being a fabulous witch:

Song: "Last Midnight"

Witches rule.

Image: Disney