Rock climbing is tough as hell. It's basically one of the most badass sports around, calling for extreme use of many muscles including some weird ones that you probably never think about in any other context except rock climbing. (Where else is finger muscle dexterity demanded so hard?) Besides all that, after indoor walls and proper hand-chalking are conquered, it stands to reason that the next step is taking your skills to the actual, terrifying outdoors. Taking rock climbing outdoors necessitates dangling many feet above what could very possibly be your swift death. Mount Everest, the widely regarded pinnacle for hiking and climbing enthusiasts, recently was brought under question as to whether or not it's even safe for people to attempt to climb it anymore. While rock climbing is intimidating enough in theory, it's even more...dizzying to actually see. A small crew recently strapped on a GoPro to film a dangerous rock climbing challenge. It ain't Everest, but it also doesn't look like a cake walk.
You guys, I have to brag for a minute: I recently experienced bouldering in the wild. As a self-identified non-athlete, I can attest to the extreme difficulty of this sport. In my defense, I was doing this on a gorgeous trail in Malibu that promised waterfalls if you promised a little death-defying dangling off rocks. I wasn't properly outfitted at all—canvas Vans sneakers, too-long nails, untrained bod, asthmatic, panic-prone—so that likely lent to the intensity of the whole thing, but still! I saw some much more well-prepared people take it on after I made it back down and was wheezing safely (including someone with a GoPro strapped on). I do not wish to review their footage. But I will now share the previously mentioned and alternative footage. Here's some of the scariest firsthand rock climbing videos of all time:
And now for further adventures: Firsthand climbing film so you can keep your manicure maintained (mine is now trash):
A quick slip
Yeah, so...if you had your speakers turned down before viewing, I recommend watching it again with cranked volume. Those panicked sounds before their drop—holy. Expletive. EXPLETIVE.
At what point in this slow-release fail does this person question every decision in their life that led to this moment? Guuuh.
The dramatic leap
Sure, this one happens in what appears to be a safe, indoor space. But real talk: I used to have a recurring dream in which I was the surface of a slo-mo dribbling basketball so I was always tensely braced to slap the asphalt. So maybe I have too tight a connection with this specific occurrence.
Great! It's settled: I'm never going rock climbing again. If anyone ever wants to join me for some floor-level, secure yoga, let's do it.