What Does Squirting Feel Like? How I Became A Power Squirter And Added A Whole Other Dimension To My Sex Life
Everyone is always wondering, how to squirt during sex. For me, it was initially a strange feeling. I didn’t have to pee: I had to gush. In my 20s, I felt that uncomfortable urge to pee many, MANY times during sex. I’d run to the bathroom to empty out my bladder—and nothing would come out. Then I’d run back to the bedroom, resume “p-in-v” with my partner...and, again, feel the need to urinate. You could call it the very worst kind of coitus interruptus. Overall, this vicious circle made sex frustrating and generally unpleasant for me. The guy would always get off—but I’d be left at the end of it all, laying on the bed, completely unsatisfied. I also kept coming back to the same question: “What the hell is wrong with my body?” Of course, I now know there was nothing wrong with me. I was—unknowingly—a squirter.
More specifically: I was a geyser ready to explode, gathering sexual confidence year-over-year...on the brink of wreaking havoc on mattresses, carpets, floor tiles and lovers everywhere. Not just a (wet) dream.
Two years ago, I said “see ya!” to a virtually sexless 11-year relationship...and “booyah!” to sexual freedom. Determined to take full advantage of my sexual peak, I embarked on a bit of a research project (thank you, Google and porn) to identify all the positions, toys and kinky experiences I wanted to try. Essentially, I wanted to explore my sexuality as much as possible.
It was then that I learned my previous discomfort during sex was very likely a sign that my G-spot—not my bladder—was being stimulated...and I may be able to have unimaginably amazing orgasms!
From drought to deluge
All I had to do was embrace that nagging feeling of “I have to pee!”...and relax. The first time a guy popped my grape (I don’t think “cherry” makes for an appropriate metaphor in this case), I barely made a trickle. The second time, it was more of a stream.It didn’t take long before I was squirting what felt like buckets—within just one sex session. In fact, some days, if the sex is over-the-top amazing, I can squirt upwards of a dozen times.
It didn’t take long before I was squirting what felt like buckets—within just one sex session. In fact, some days, if the sex is over-the-top amazing, I can squirt upwards of a dozen times.
And the reaction I’d get from my partners! To date, every guy I’ve been with thinks squirting is hawt. They love knowing they’re partly responsible for taking me to that level of ecstasy (my part, of course, is in relaxing my body...can’t give the guys all the credit).
Combine that with the physical release squirting gives me (an orgasm unlike any other), the rarity of my so-called “talent” and the overall naughtiness of it: and I truly believe squirting has added a whole other dimension to my sex life.
But as they say, with great power comes great responsibility...or at the very least, some very real drawbacks.
Cue the violins...
Mo’ squirt, mo’ problems
I’m pretty much a pro in the squirting arena now. In fact, I’ve gotten so good at it, that sometimes all it takes is a slight touch of my clit to get me going.
This may all sound great—but when you have trouble controlling your arousal, you have to be prepared for certain inconveniences. And here’s why: because power squirting is effing messy.
If I’m on a date with a guy I'm attracted to and he even casually brushes up against my nether-regions, I often have to put up with that oh-so-nasty feeling of damp panties until I get home (not to mention live in fear that someone will notice a wet spot on my pants).
If I’m entertaining at home, I must always ensure I have a waterproof protector on the mattress, and lots of bed sheets and blankets on hand—lest I destroy said mattress. But when you have a small washer and dryer like I do and countless linens to clean, one sex session can make for a pretty costly hydro bill.
Not only that: I really, really, really hate doing laundry.
I will admit I have created a few workarounds to minimize these nuisances. I recently bought a smaller duvet (aptly dubbed my “Sexy-Time Duvet”), which is small enough to allow me to simultaneously fit bed sheets into the washing machine, rather than do endless loads of laundry. Sometimes I have sex in the shower. And sometimes I have it on the floor—it’s much less time-consuming to scrub a clear stain from carpeting.
I’ve also taken to carrying a fresh pair of panties and liners with me in my purse, wherever I go...just in case. So, yeah...I'm prepared. But where squirting is concerned, that’s only the inconvenience side of things.
As a self-proclaimed power squirter, I sometimes feel a bit of a personal complex about it. I worry about logistical things. Like where in someone’s home is it OK to spray? If we’re starting to fool around on a couch, should we immediately move things to the bedroom? If we’re in the bedroom, I worry that my partner may not have a mattress protector. I’ve even questioned inwardly whether squirt can attract bed bugs (I’ve never actually researched this nor discussed it with anyone).
And that’s not all... What if I accidentally squirt in my partner’s face when they’re not expecting it? What if they get me so excited, I splash that picture of their kids on the nightstand? Can the Magic Eraser remove stains if I create my own form of Rorschach wall art? You get the picture. Basically, while squirting is an awesome and mind-blowing part of the entire sexual experience—and something I would totally miss if I no longer had the ability—it doesn’t come without its annoyances or moments of paranoia.
Like I mentioned earlier, pretty much everyone I’ve been with over the last two years thinks squirting is hot. But that’s been my experience in short-term relationships. I expect there will come a time I’ll meet and want to commit to someone very special.
As if I don’t already have a long-enough list of criteria for my eventual match, that person will have to be very amenable to me being a power squirter. The fact is, I can’t be with someone who eventually looks at it as an inconvenience for them. They’re going to have to be okay with doing laundry pretty much every time we have sex. They’re not going to be allowed to guilt me into cleaning my own sheets every time we are intimate. They’re going to have to become expert purchasers in linens. Basically, they’re going to have to embrace squirting as part of our regular sexual adventures. And they will love it—because they love me.
Until that day comes: I’ve decided to do a few more Kegels each day, in the hopes it will help me exert just a teensy bit more control over my body. I am also considering doing porn. Just kidding. I could never squirt on camera unless I wore a paper bag over my head. And given how terribly paper bags fare when wet...well...
Hmmm...maybe a plastic bag?
Images: Fatimeh Nadimi/Flickr; Giphy (13)