You've decided to go vegan and you couldn't feel better about your decision. You've stocked your fridge with tempeh and tofu, you've ordered some cute vegan leather shoes, and you're reading your copy of The Sexual Politics of Meat, thinking you've got this whole vegan thing pretty figured out. Then, you run out of cleanser and your whole world is turned upside down. Shopping for vegan personal care products is hard and can feel downright impossible, y'all. When you're totally in love with cosmetics, it somehow feels even harder.
Whether it's trying do decipher the long Latin names for ingredients or trying to figure out what products contain crushed up dead beetles or beaver anal secretions (yes, seriously) or who actually tests on animals, there's no end to the work a babe has to do to buy herself a tube of gosh darn lipstick. Even though vegan cosmetics are becoming more and more accessible — with some research you can probably even pick up some fun colors to play with in your local drugstore and definitely at your local Target. Yes, living a vegan lifestyle is a choice, but that doesn't make the struggle any less frustrating.
Here are the nine emotional stages that most beauty-obsessed vegans will be able to relate to:
1. This isn't going to be so bad, there are so many cruelty-free options now.
You can buy vegan stuff at Target, so you tell yourself that if one of the largest retailers has an ample supply then you're going to be swimming in a sea of vegan lippies at the actual specialty beauty stores. Right?
2. Let me just search that big beauty supplier real quick first. Hmm.
At first, you searched the keyword "vegan" and there were so many more things than you thought there would be! This is amazing! Revolution! Then you realize there are things you know are vegan that didn't show up with that query. It's not gonna be as easy as you thought. You're going to have to do some digging to find everything that's vegan. Sigh.
3. Ooh, that's nice! I wonder if it's... nope.
You're searching through a brand that's cruelty-free and find a cheek tint in the color you've been looking for forever! Uh, yes, in the cart immediately. You scan the brand's FAQ about vegan items real quick and find out... it has beeswax.
4. Wait, this blog says it's vegan... maybe it is after all.
Then you do a quick Google search for the product name "+vegan" and a blog that was updated six months ago says that the formulation has changed and the company has yet to update its website. Seriously, this happens all the time. You start dancing in your seat and re-adding it to your shopping cart, but then...
5. Oh no, this company just started selling in China.
Just when you thought you were safe, you realize that the company has stated it's going to start selling its products in China where animal testing is mandatory. So, looks like the product is not so vegan after all.
6. Hmm, they say cruelty-free, but what about vegan?
Okay, you've moved on from the non-vegan cheek tint of your dreams and have found something comparable from a company that claims to be cruelty-free that you found through the Leaping Bunny Certified database. This has to go your way, right? Then you realize that cruelty-free doesn't mean vegan and you're back at square one again.
7. Why can't I have any nice things?!
You begin to wonder if your cheeks will ever look flushed, like you just came from a brisk jog, because you hate running and really don't want to acquire it naturally. There's no hope. The world is a terrible place. Your vanity drawers shall remain empty forever.
8. Oh, hold on! This company says it's vegan. Their stuff is really cute! There is a higher power who loves me!
Then, you find a company that states that it's 100 percent vegan. They translate their ingredients so you can understand them. You feel confident that what you're purchasing aligns with your ideals. They even have cheek stain!
9. I can buy whatever I want, give me all the colors! Farewell paycheck.
Once you find the holy grail of vegan beauty with all of the colors and formulations that you desire, you decide you better stock up. I mean, you gotta hit that minimum for free shipping anyways!
Images: Fotolia; Giphy