What To Do If You And Your Significant Other Get Accepted To Different Colleges
So, you got accepted to your dream college. Congrats! But then you find out that your significant other got accepted to a different college hours (and possibly several states) away from yours. Ruh roh. This is where things get kind of awful, because now you really need to evaluate your relationship as a whole, and decide if trying it long distance is worth the stress.
Making your relationship work is not impossible though. If the two of you decide that you're both all in and will do whatever it takes to survive the distance, then you will. It's really that simple. The struggle is maintaining a strong bond through clear communication and honesty, and staying as "all in" as you are right now. Because if you continue to be madly in love with this person and you're putting in the effort to make sure your relationship survives this hurdle, then a happy future is a given. There will be times when you doubt your love. There will be times when you just want to throw in the towel. It's normal. But here are all the ways you can truly make it work while staying sane, happy, and awesomely independent as you enter the glorious college life.
1. Select your relationship saver method
Figure out if you're both on board to text regularly, use Skype x times per week, or if sending hand-written letters is how you'll stay connected. You need something in place before you go, so it might be a good idea to test all of these out now.
2. Create tangible mementos to take with you
This includes pillowcases with their cologne, photobooth pictures, love notes, a t-shirt of theirs, etc. It might sound cheesy, but it helps to have something you can physically touch when they are hundreds of miles away.
3. Give long distance an honest try
If you don't give it a try for at least a month, you will absolutely regret it. You don't want to wonder if it could've worked, so put in the effort now in order to know for sure.
4. Don't even think about transferring for each other
I considered doing this once. I had a boyfriend at another school my freshman year, and I actually considered transferring to his college to save our relationship. Spoiler alert: if this thought becomes a serious consideration, then guess what? Your relationship is in too much trouble to be saved with this drastic and extremely regrettable move. DON'T. DO. IT.
5. Schedule events to look forward to
You need something in the future to get excited about. Otherwise it's going to feel like you're on this long distance train forever. Spend the weekend together once every month or two, and go to concerts, movies, and make memories that will hold you over until the next one.
6. Do not promise forever
Forever is a long time. I get that you might think this is the only person you will ever love, but most likely, it won't be. Try to stay in the present and cherish the love you have now, and then see where it goes.
7. Be realistic about the future
Don't plan on talking every single night or seeing each other every weekend, because that probably will not happen. The reason you're going to be apart is because you're going to school, so don't let your schoolwork suffer just to Skype with them at the same time everyday. If your relationship is strong enough, then you don't need to talk every second.
8. If needed, break up
Your relationship might be brand new, and maybe you're not even using the "L" word yet. Is this someone you truly want to sacrifice for during your freshman year at college? Because LDRs are riddled with sacrifices, and as long there's a deep connection, it's worth it. But this is the time to evaluate whether or not the relationship you're in is ready for that. If it isn't, cut him loose. Then prepare for one of the best times of your life.
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