Adam Levine would have to do very little to sell his new fragrance (or pretty much anything) to women, but his advertisement for his new cologne is good enough to titillate both sexes. We'd buy his cologne for our boyfriends already, but it certainly raises the question: What exactly does Adam Levine smell like? (I say this as if I haven't wondered this a zillion times before.) Here are some thoughts, and maybe just a smidgen of wishful thinking.
Option 1: Cigarettes and Pine Needles
This is in my fantasy of lumberjack Adam. He's just come home from the studio, made some sweet, sweet love to me — I mean his wife, lolwhat? — and then goes out back to chop a little wood for the fire. What a manly Maroon 5 frontman he is. He can front my Maroon 5 whenever he wants. Whatever that means.
Option 2: Ke$ha Two Days into Bonnaroo
But maybe Adam Levine smells like every party he's gone to in the last week. Maybe he is exuding whiskey smell for miles around, to the point where dogs in his nearby vicinity have been whimpering before they fall down drunk. Perhaps his allure is that you can smell how cool he is because he smells like everywhere he's been. I'm getting slight undercurrents of the Vanity Fair afterparty mixed with Karma Lounge, amirite?
Option 3: Sex, sex, and a Little More Sex
Okay, so maybe I wouldn't buy sex perfume for my boytoy, but this is what I'd really like Adam Levine to smell like. Because if I was close enough to smell it, maybe it would mean I'd had sex with him, and if I'd had sex with him, my life might be totally different because I bet sex with Adam Levine is awesome. Who knows.
Option 4: Jasmine, Pot Smoke and Gasoline
Jasmine, because I'm assuming he likes to smell good (since he is producing a perfume) and Jasmine smells like heaven and pure beauty mixed together. Then pot smoke, because, you know, he's a guy who likes to relax. Kick it old school. And then gasoline, because he rides a bike, and maybe he fixes his bike and looks very sexy all covered in bike oil and manliness. So he's essentially the cool rebel guy from high school that never remembered your name even though you were totally obsessed with him. Yuummmmyyyy.
I guess we'll find out his ideal smell when his new cologne comes out, but until then, we can all keep fantasizing. Well, I will at least.
