Do you know that feeling when you walk into a room to get something and cross the threshold and almost immediately forget why you went there in the first place and then you try to explain that feeling to the person who's sitting in that room but can't describe it except for explaining that you walked into the room to get something but once you crossed the threshold, you almost immediately forgot why you went there on the first place? (PHEW.)
Have you ever wished you had a single word to describe that feeling? Well, Lizzie Skurnick, as writer of the The New York Times Magazine column "That Should Be a Word," figured she would be a genius and come up with a word to describe these ubiquitous, yet endlessly annoying and wordless, feelings. (It's “umigrate,” and you're welcome.)
Skurnick's new book That Should Be a Word is a collection of these words, and a celebration of "not only wordplay but words about obscure feelings that nonetheless loomed large.” These new words fill a niche that I didn't know I needed in my vocabulary until I read them, but they also immediately made intuitive sense. Like "menabler," defined as "one who aids the patriarchy," or "gistake," which is an "incorrect word that still gets the point across."
Skurnick offers up with words to describe modern attitudes toward everything from food to cellphones, but where I think she's the most helpful is in finding words to describe love and dating. Navigating romantic relationships is already a process filled with feelings and emotions and actions that are hard to describe, but with the proliferation of online dating, it sometimes feels like I need a whole new vocabulary to explain what's happening on Tinder. Skurnick created that lexicon. Here are 15 words to describe modern love and dating from That Should Be a Word you didn't know you needed until you read them.
1. Charmament (CHAR-ma-ment), n.
“An arsenal of weapons of seduction.”
We could all learn a trick or two from Rebecca's charmament; she always has gaggles of guys surrounding her when she goes out to the bar.
2. Whogle (HOO-gull), v.
“Look up person online.”
Lucy always encouraged her friends to whogle potential suitors before going on a first date with them to make sure they weren't serial killers.
3. Woogle (WOO-gull), v.
“Curry favor by posting flattering content of one’s self online for future prospective searchers.”
Before downloading Tinder, Tim uploaded a couple of new profile pictures of himself holding his cousin's puppy on Facebook in order to woogle the ladies of New York City.
4. Loave (LOHV), v.
“To love and hate in equal proportions.”
In the seminal 1999 teen drama Ten Things I Hate About You, Kat Stratford, played by the effervescent Julia Stiles, loaves Patrick Verona, played by Heath Ledger.
5. Charmalade (CHARM-uh-laid), n.
“Deftness in luring someone into bed.”
Alex's roommate Max was slightly annoyed that Alex was bringing home a different date back to the apartment every night of the week, but Max had to respect Alex's charmalade.
6. Fanished (FAN-isht), adj.
Although they went to a BBQ joint for dinner and shared a rack of ribs, Drew was still fanished and ate all the Doritos in his date's cupboard.
7. Relashionship (ree-LASH-un-ship), n.
“Bad romance you can’t leave."
Lady Gaga was really caught in a relashionship.
8. Saddict (SAD-ikt), n.
“One who thrives on misery.”
Luann knew her boyfriend Derek was bad news after he told her he cheated on her multiple times, but she didn't want to break up with him because she was a total saddict who loved all the drama.
9. Boudwar (boo-DWORE), n.
“An argument originating in the bedroom.”
Ed and Linda's boudwar started when Ed forgot kiss Linda good-night, but it spiraled out of control when Linda accused Ed of forgetting to do the dishes every night that week.
10. Fessage (FES-ij), n.
“An apologetic epistle.”
Simon texted his girlfriend a long fessage when he found out he had to miss their movie date because of an unexpected meeting at work.
11. Bridealize (BRY-dee-uh-lize), v.
“To go overboard on planning a wedding."
Mara realized she had been bridealizing after she watched seven straight hours of Say Yes To The Dress while glueing rhinestones to the bottoms of her white satin heels.
12. Martyrmony (MAR-tir-moh-nee), n.
“State of marriage that persists purely out of duty.”
After 16 years of marriage, two dogs, and a kid, Tom and Jerry had fallen into martyrmony.
13. Theratrooper (THEH-ruh-troo-per), n.
“Friend who swoops in to commiserate.”
After Mark broke up with Taylor, Taylor's best friend Betty was a total theratrooper, going straight to Taylor's apartment with red wine and ice cream and a box of tissues.
14. Chumbrage (CHUM-brij), n.
“Irritation on a friend’s behalf.”
Mike took chumbrage when he found out his buddy Ron's girlfriend wouldn't let Ron go to the Lana Del Rey concert with the rest of the guys because she wanted to go to the Drake concert with him that same night.
15. Dumpire (DUM-pyre), n.
“Person who has to hear both sides of a fight.”
Roger ended up being the dumpire when John and Joanna broke up because Roger shared an apartment with John and worked in the same office with Joanna.
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