Robin Thicke's 'Elle' Interview & The 5 Facial Expressions It Inspires

Since the 2013 MTV Music Video Awards, Robin Thicke has been on a bit of an apology tour. First, for letting Miley Cyrus twerk on him and second, for grabbing the rear end of a fan at a VMA after party. He's been on family vacations, snapping wholesome pictures for Twitter and making out with his wife, Paula Patton, on red carpets to prove that they're going strong. But now, Robin Thicke is telling us everything. In fact, he may be telling us too much.

According to an interview with Elle, Thicke's father (Alan Thicke of Growing Pains) was a bit of a ladies' man. No wonder Thicke grew up to sing sexy songs about sexy ladies and use his sexy fame to "jokingly" rub up on sexy ladies who aren't his sexy wife. He's just being Thicke, y'all.

Let the insanity wash over you like an inescapable pop song. Here are Thicke's best (or worst? I can't tell.) quotes from his Elle interview.

On life with his dad:

My dad was single my whole pubescent period. [Laughs] He had Ms. Alabama, Ms. Dominican Republic—every week. I was like, Dang, Pops. He had an indoor Jacuzzi, and he frequented it. The first time I saw a naked woman was when I went to take a shower one morning before school. I was like, Who is this girl in my shower?

Our thoughts:

On Adolescence:

I had lots of weekends alone in a huge house with a tennis court, so I’d invite my buddies over. It’d be video games, basketball, chicks, and swimming. I was like a college kid when I was 14.

Our thoughts:

On How to Treat Ladies:

We were on vacation and some pretty girl walked by. I started ogling her like a 12-year-old boy, and he said, “I know she’s pretty, but you stared at her and followed her across the room. What if there’s a prettier girl sitting two tables away? Now she’s not going to feel special. She’ll say, ‘You look at all the girls like that.’ You’ve gotta play it cool so you don’t look like you're desperate.”

Our thoughts:

On Whether or Not He and Paula Patton Ever Fight:

Oh yeah! Lock up the golf clubs.

While we're sure he didn't mean to put it that way, our thoughts:

On His Newest Single:

In “Give It 2 U,” it’s more a comment of swagger. Like, I’m big-dick swingin’ ... We joke around. If someone’s got a great outfit on, it’s like, “Oh, you’re big-dick swingin’ tonight." ... Listen, compared to my son, I’m packing. If I’m next to LeBron James? It’s probably not quite as impressive.

Our thoughts:

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