'Hello Ladies' Recap: In Which Stuart Isn't Allowed Into His Own Party
Considering the first half of Season 1 of HBO's Hello Ladies, which mainly featured plotlines about Stuart desperately trying to get into parties, last night's episode was a departure. The episode’s very funny storyline focuses on Stuart throwing an epic, exclusive (mainly for beautiful people) pool party. This, he believes, could finally make the women come to him. But the doomed-from-the-outset blowout takes place at Wade’s pathetic new apartment complex, which looks like a retirement home.
Stuart’s humiliations have gotten more scarring by the week, yet the insecurity isn’t setting in. He’s aiming higher.
Stuart and his wingman, Rory, plan the details, and Kyle Mooney mines the sycophantic role for all its worth. It may not make sense, but Rory truly idolizes his boss and cheers his fantasies on even when he’s promising to Photoshop girls into pictures with him. Also, they do this dance.
So let's countdown to Stuart's implosion, shall we?
6. Stuart extorts a number for Kimberly, the model with whom he’s shared little more than a glance from far away. Even though he rattles off his interests on the phone and sounds like a virgin’s dating profile, she’s in. This is beyond far-fetched, but somehow the universe is validating Stuart’s pipe dreams.
5. The party starts, and we’re back in one of Stuart’s nightmares again. Instead of boisterous girls in bikinis, he gets kids with foam noodles who aren’t epic enough to be there. Stuart finds a way to incite the anger of their mother who whacks his cell out of his hand. It sinks to the bottom of the pool, and now Kimberly can’t call him.
4. Jessica brings home a 19-year-old girl, Heaven, from the soup kitchen. When Jessica realizes she can't rescue her (or make herself feel better), Jessica kicks her out, but pretends it’s Stuart who wants her gone.
3. Bikinis, ice luges of breasts, paper invitations, and we’re smack dab in the middle of Stuart’s fantasy L.A. episode. Except Rory books a gorgeous male model to bartend, and a 360 view of the turnout reveals a sausage fest full of Wade’s new neighbors. All this leads the bartender to call it a middle-aged gay party and a helpful suggestion from Kives: let’s call Charles Manson to lighten the mood.
2. Two sexy women show up, but they make a quick exit despite Stuart’s desperate attempts to hold them hostage. Stuart grows angry and ditches his own party before it starts. Naturally, this isn’t humiliating enough for Stuart to go out on. We’ve been here before, but even though the scenarios are repetitive and ridiculous, they’re just backdrops for Stuart’s comic magnetism and the honesty with which the people in his orbit play their painful realities, covering up defeat with pasted on smiles.
1. Kimberly shows up all smiley and oddly determined to see Stuart. We can accept that he amuses women, but it's hard to imagine him as a lady-killer. He tries to get back into his own party, but gets shut out because of his own invitation-only rule. He tries to hop the fence and naturally, security’s there to stop him. For the millionth consecutive time, he’s his own worst enemy.
And all he wanted to do was to turn the Birchwood Apartments into the Playboy Mansion. Oh well, at least he can rely on his amazing dance moves. Here's hoping we see more of them next episode.