8 Things Not To Say To The Bride At The Wedding, Unless You Want To Totally Ruin Her Entire Day
There are some things you should never say to a bride — especially on her wedding day. On her wedding day, a bride is a different person than she is every other day. She is stressed, she is exhausted, she probably hasn't eaten much, and she's extremely emotionally delicate — much like the shell of an egg, and can very easily be cracked. So you need to watch what you say in her presence, because you could quickly insult her without even realizing it. She's still your friend and the person you care about and share inside jokes with, but not until you have to plan a wedding yourself can you understand just how taxing this event is on a person's mental state.
Since we were toddlers, we have been told by society that this is the most important day of our lives. Since then, shows like Say Yes to the Dress, while insanely entertaining, have only reinforced the idea that once we get an engagement ring, this day has to be perfect. There's no denying that there's plenty of weight and pressure that comes with this very expensive and very detailed event, and we want nothing more than for it to go smoothly. So to save the sanity of the new Mrs., do not say any of the following things to the bride on her wedding day.
1. "I spent a lot of money to get here."
Oh yeah? So did she. And I'm guessing she spent a whole lot more than you did. Plus, she's giving you access to free booze, so less whining and more drinking. Please and thank you.
2. "The dinner was cold."
She didn't prepare the food. She probably didn't even have time to taste it, so maybe take your rude remark to the chef?
3. "Can I make a song request to liven things up a bit?"
If the band or DJ she hired takes requests, then great! But she either paid a DJ or a band to keep things livened up the entire night, so if that's not good enough for you, maybe go outside and dance alone to your playlist.
4. "Yeah... can I switch tables? I don't like where I'm sitting."
Most brides spend a lot of time agonizing over seating arrangements. They want you to have fun and to get along with the people at your table, so rather than letting her know that the time she spent on the seating chart was a total waste, just go mingle and dance after dinner ends.
5. "I love your dress! I mean, it's not my taste, but OMG SO PRETTY."
Uhhh, what? This is the wedding equivalent to "I'm not trying to be rude, but.... (here's my really rude comment designed to sneakily make you feel like garbage)."
6. "Your vows were really... unique."
The vows ARE the wedding. That's why everyone gathered together in honor of this couple, so they could pledge their eternal love for one another. It's a deeply personal thing, and if they chose to do anything outside of repeating traditional vows, you better either say something nice, or nothing at all.
7. "So when do I get cake?"
Honest answer from bride: "You get cake only after our scheduled time to cut the cake comes. And only after I get the first piece, because a tiny version of me is on top of that cake, I haven't eaten all damn day, and I need cake more than anyone."
8. "Did you hear about the serious drama happening between _______ and _______?"
No, the bride did not hear about it, and she doesn't want to hear about it. Tell her tomorrow. This day should be 100 percent drama-free and if it isn't, at least keep her shielded from said drama.
Image: 20th Century Fox; Giphy (8)