Here is some news that should surprise no one: We all do regrettable things while drunk. Once we've hit the sauce hard enough, most of do things that our friends may find hilarious at the time and forever afterward. Unfortunately, I feel like I hold pretty tame and unimpressive Drunken Mistake trophies like "Attempted To Make DIY Cat Toys" or "Burned French Fries But Ate Them Anyway". This guy who gave himself a Charmander tattoo while drunk (and stoned on Xanax because he was really going for the gold that night) blows everything I did out of the water. The poor dude's friend shared it on Reddit, and other humans relate so much to this all-black, flaming-tailed Pokémon tattoo catastrophe that it's almost effectively and fully taken over the internet. (For reference, please recall when that Pokémon-obsessed goldfish threatened a similar takeover—this is like that, but times 11.)
The DIY tattoo, lovingly now referred to as Shartmander, takes Charmander's original orange, adorable dinosaur design and flips it on its proverbial head, depicting him all in black with hurried line and filling work. It is now inspiring hoards of people with photo editing and other creative abilities (and not a whole lot of professional or life obligations, maybe) to transform the bad idea tattoo into various new mediums. Really, if only this 27-year-old dude now sporting a stylized Pokemon monster on his hip for the rest of his life knew what he'd inspire when he started drinking that fateful evening. Here he is, showing his new ink:
For reference, here's Shartmander side-by-side with what the original Charmander looks like regularly:
Orange, jovial, seemingly intact—you get the idea. The tattoo version, though, is...not. The similarities start with the dragon-like form and end with the lit tail. That's it. Anyway, the popularity of this horrible tattoo basically exploded. Some of the new mediums in which it appears includes:
As a stuffed animal
Cuddly! And available via ebay right here, with a starting bid at $15.
As a motivational message
Poised to usurp the Hang In There kitten? I'd cosign that.
As a restaurant chalkboard sign
Always a convincing reason to visit a restaurant or bar, in my opinion.
As a water canteen
I...can't even think of what to say about this one. But I like it?? However, taking the cake is...
As a freaking wedding ring
Clearly the only reasonable option when marrying the internet. Sheesh.
Jokes, memes, and internet sensations aside, I gotta make a PSA: mixing booze and benzos is a bad idea. Among various dangerous side effects (like barfing or, you know, A FREAKING COMA), the combination seriously impairs judgement, which speaks volumes in this specific case. Just don't mix the two ever, please. Promise, y'all? OK, good. I cannot handle another Shartmander ever again.