10 Things to Order If You Want Chefs To Hate You

Going out to restaurants is great because you don't have to cook, and you get something that probably tastes better than what you'd be able to make at home — at least in my experience, anyway (sidenote, how is it that even a basic turkey sandwich somehow tastes better at a restaurant?). Sometimes, though, people take advantage of the fact that someone else is cooking for them and they go crazy once they leave their own kitchen, so restaurant chefs are here to tell you what orders will make the kitchen staff hate you. Because just because you can order something with 16 different modifications, doesn't mean you should.

While this thread is certainly enlightening, there's so much more to restaurant etiquette than just what you order (I would hope we all know this already, but some people are jerks and it can't hurt to repeat it). Once you know how not to drive the back of house crazy with your complicated requests, I recommend heading over to Tales From Your Server. Real servers can help you with questions like how much to tip on happy hour prices, the best ways to inform the kitchen about your allergies, and more. Plus they always have stories of people acting like ridiculous, entitled d-bags and that just never ceases to entertain me.

So if you don't want to bite the hand that feeds you, don't do these things. Or if you are, at least be nice about it (and leaving a big tip never hurt anybody, either).

1. I actually didn't know this before

This is good to know, although in my experience (I have a family member who's a vegetarian), if you really have dietary restrictions aside from just the palate of a 6-year-old, weddings can usually do their best to whip you up something that's edible. I am by no means an expert, though.

2. Is this really a thing?

This is stupid. You can't have a steak between medium and medium rare. Just pick one.

3. Well this sure puts a damper on my brunch.

As soul-crushing as this sounds, I'm probably never going to stop ordering eggs or going to brunch.

4. Obligatory "Not a chef, but..."

I empathize with this — it's not like Starbucks drinks aren't fancy enough as it is. However, I would like to put forth an exception to this rule: if your friends are baristas, they probably have their own creative "secret menu" items they got from just messing around with ingredients. These are only acceptable to order when said friend is working. Otherwise, stick to the non-secret menu.

5. Don't order this at Panera.

OK, but like how is it my fault as the customer that the bread this sandwich comes with as standard is too small? This seems like an issue that should be taken up with corporate.

6. Who the f*ck would do this?

Dude, WTF. Who would do this, and why? I work in a food establishment, and it's probably more expensive to pull some crap like this because you would get charged extra for each additional ingredient. That first thing I understand though; I side-eyed the table next to me on Saturday because their sushi looked amazing and I wanted to know what it was.

7. The only true chef in the entire thread.

Somebody needs a vacation.

8. The line cook is not your personal chef.

This is ridiculous, and why the restaurant allowed it is even more ridiculous. Can't you just be like, "No, we don't have that on the menu." I wouldn't go into an Italian restaurant demanding a quesadilla so why did this fly?

9. This might change your views on appetizers...

...Or it might not. I'm sorry, but appetizer samplers are the best of all worlds! You can't take away my brunch or my samplers, it just won't happen.

10. Pretty much this entire thread, summed up.

Yep, this. Modifications are cool, but everything in moderation.

Images: Felipe Neves / Flickr; Reddit