7 Music Fest Outfits We Never Want To See Again

Beginning in April and extending through August is music festival season, and the world should thank its lucky stars the spell comes but once a year. The headlining bands are enjoyable and the revelry unparalleled, but the fashion — particularly music festival accessories — is best taken in small, careful doses. If the sort of microscopic shorts, nude bodysuits, and generally eccentric garb seen on the music festival circuit were to hit the streets, mayhem and rebellion would surely ensue. I love a good floral-printed maxi dress and fedora as much as the next person, but music festival attendees seem to take harmless, if innovative, ensembles and transform them into something more aesthetically challenging. And the most common manner of subverting an ensemble at Coachella or Bonnaroo is through one's accessories.

The phenomenon wouldn't be quite so overwhelming if the accessories chosen were truly diverse and radical, but music festival attendees have developed a very particular, unspoken dress code that regulates the majority of what can and cannot be worn. A pantsuit of any sort is prohibited, but swimsuits are welcomed with open arms, and so on. Read on for seven ubiquitous music festival accessories that should be retired immediately after the last festival performers have wrapped their set.

1. The Funky Mad Hatter Hat


Whimsical, artfully adorned top hats and fedoras are meant for one occasion, and one occasion only: a theatrical production of Alice In Wonderland. Attempting to translate the style to another type of function is ill-advised at best.

2. Anything That Glows In The Dark

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Neon nails, bracelets, necklaces, shirts, and shoes are a staple of music festival fashion. But should they be? The question requires some serious contemplation.

3. The Neon Reflective Sunglasses

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Who could have foreseen the vice grip neon, reflective shades have on music festival attendees? For a trend that was only meant to last a summer, these shades have serious staying power — but their day in the limelight is over.

4. The Floral Headdress

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Floral headdresses are meant to worn during the month of April, when Easter festivities and music paloozas abound. However, after April's four long weeks are up the style should be immediately retired.

5. The Neon Beaded Bracelet

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Neon bracelets are as innate to the music festival scene as jorts or aviator sunglasses, but by the advent of August the accessory is as overplayed as the songs of Coachella's headlining bands. The one exception is of course the neon entry bracelet needed to attend a festival in the first place — but please take it off after the long weekend is over.

6. The Faux Tattoo

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I was under the impression that faux tattoos were an admittedly adorable but ultimately juvenile accent reserved for middle schoolers attending a school dance. If the faux tattoo were reserved for several days a year, the look would remain charming, but by the fourth day of Coachella, a faux tattoo overdose always seems imminent. Oh, and please stop using them as faux bindis.

7. The Rustic, Artfully-Scuffed Booties

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I am a self-confessed bootie devotee and the proud owner of a perfectly worn-in black leather pair. However, the number of brand-new-yet-somehow-artfully scuffed suede booties in shades of taupe and beige sauntering around Bonnaroo and Electric Daisy makes me want to place my own, unoriginal pair in retirement.

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