GREAT LINES FROM THE LATEST ‘2 BROKE GIRLS’ AND WHAT THEY MEAN for your life

I’ll tell you what: Last night, there was practically nothing worth watching on TV. Sleepy Hollow was pre-empted by the World Series and my new desire to scrub my Twitter feed completely of Boston fans; HIMYM exists as a commitment akin to flossing. The Blacklist? Yeah, sure, if grisly bathtub murders disguised as drama are your thing. (The Blacklist is an actively offensive show, unlike HIMYM which is just geriatrically boring.) It’s in this desolate Monday night landscape that, forced to watch something, I decided to check in on 2 Broke Girls and see if it’s changed in the two years I last caught an episode.

No, it hasn’t changed!

According to the graphic at the end of the episode, the 2 girls are still definitely broke. But aside from financial proof of their lack of growth,we’ve also got a litany of female anatomy and sexual orientation jokes that have been the series’ GO-TO since the start. 2 Broke Girls, it would seem, is exactly the show it was in 2011 and will remain that way until the sun burns out, or Kat Dennings reneges on her contract.

Rather than take notes on plot or character development, I keyed on in what I felt were some powerful lines worth discussing. The best way to understand a culture is through its comedy, so maybe we all learn something this morning? Hahahaha unlikely.

“My bed’s a dude. I know because it pokes me in the back while I sleep.” -Max

Most of the lines up for discussion here were dropped by Max, resident sarcasm queen played by Kat Dennings. She’s sarcastic! Unrelentingly sarcastic! One of her key joke arenas is sex, from which she draws plenty of material. I think this one’s a 7/10 for the way it accurately conveys what happens sometimes when a man and a woman share a bed post-intercourse. The only reason I deducted points is because the joke doesn’t make any sense.

“Does she have the Big C?” -Chinese diner owner “No, little You” -Max

I vaguely remember a big to-do when this show launched about the degree of racism that seems to permeate each episode, but to get mad at this seems silly and misdirected. Get mad that the show isn’t funny! To focus on its racism — yes, it’s probably racist! — is to presume it’s doing other stuff right, which it isn’t. Calm down, everyone! Things are bad enough without you making them worse. (To be fair, the above quote isn’t racist. But you sort of hold your breath every time Max talks to someone with an accent.)

“You’re just gonna crawl into the dirty box [a salvation army bin]?” “Dirty box was my nickname in continuation school.” -Max

I think Max has a lot of stuff to sort through. And that goes beyond feminine hygiene to include, like, her self-esteem.

“Sophie is the loudest person we know.” “Even black people at the movies tell Sophie to be quiet.” -Caroline, surprisingly

Now THAT is racist.

“A candle? What are we, witches?” -Max

Now THAT is funny.

“Who hides their vibrator in a Starbucks cup?” -Max

What I love about this crack is the way it cuts right to the core of Caroline's idiosyncrasies: 1) that she's a total prude who would just die if you knew anything about her sex life, and 2) girl keeps Starbucks cups everywhere. Ignore the whys and wherefores here to concentrate on it as a, you know, character moment. Or something.