"Tallywackers" Is Being Called A "Male Hooters", And No, Unfortunately Channing Tatum Is Too Busy To Serve There — PHOTOS

Equality is real! The gay community is FINALLY objectifying men the same way straight men have been objectifying women for centuries! Huzzah! Opening in Dallas, Texas, is a gay male version of Hooters called Tallywackers, which will feature buff, topless men as servers, by the looks of things. While it will no doubt be a hot spot for horny moms having white wine lunches, the restaurant is opening in what's deemed Dallas's "gayborhood", so by that we can deduce it's more aimed at gay men than straight women. Although I'm guessing they will happily accept any patron with a working credit card and an eye-lust for peeking on some peen.

Sure, this restaurant doesn't carry the same social implications of an establishment like Hooters; We know that the concept of power is totally different between men and men or women and women as it is between men and women because of HISTORICAL CONTEXT. But no mind: I find the concept quite glorious. I don't think we'll ever end sexual objectification altogether, but I do think that maybe if everyone is as equally subject to it, there might be more measuring and regulation. Like the amazing Tina Fey has said: If men needed birth control, they'd be giving it out for free. Likewise, if it were customary to treat the male body the same as it was to treat the female body, perhaps the more threatening aspects of objectification would be wrangled. But forget the psychoanalysis for a moment and let's momentarily indulge in this glorious (albeit tacky) sort-of leveling of the playing field.

"Tallywacker" means penis, in case you didn't know, so the title is already going above and beyond Hooters with its nomenclature. And if you happen to be a handsome, jacked dude with cheese grater abs, and live in Dallas, Tallywackers is hiring! According to their Craigslist ad, the open interview date has passed, but you never know your luck.

Meanwhile, the brand's promo materials so far are pretty clear about what the restaurant will be about:

Although I do quite like this one Twitter user's take on the whole thing:

A restaurant where a semi-naked Channing Tatum serves you? Yes, please! Although if I'm going to be honest, I chose Channing because he's got a good sense of humor. (Not even being a little bit sarcastic.)

But also because...well you know...

Images: Warner Bros; Craigslist ; Giphy(2)