Which Hogwarts House Do You Belong In?

by Catie Keck

For your innermost Harry Potter enthusiast, the Internet has gifted us something extraordinary. Find out which Hogwarts house you belong in with the @SortingHatBot Twitter account — it will tell you where you fit in via an arbitrary poem that makes very little sense but is nonetheless amusing. This wonderful and bizarrely insulting bot is the brainchild of artist Darius Kazemi, who was also responsible for the bot Old School Flyers that tweets vintage promotional materials for old hip hop.

Any of us will remember learning of the bewitched hat as we skimmed the pages of our copies of The Sorcerer’s Stone, and how we held our breath as Harry and crew awaited their fates in turn. Years later, younger readers could themselves be sorted on the interactive Warner Bros. Pictures website that coincided with the launch of its eight film series. Now Pottermore, the site still sorts readers according to a series of questions about what they’d do in various relatable situations. (If you found money on the ground, would you keep it or turn it in?)

SHB will sort you at the click of the mouse and based on no information in particular. For instance, I was sorted into Ravenclaw, which is a wishful overreaching of my character. (My wicked soul belongs Slytherin. Full stop.)

As I mentioned above, the bot seems to be wired for inanely offensive remarks with a touch of humor.

So what’ll it be? Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin? Click now or forever hold your peace.