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I Gave MyIdol Makeovers To The 2016 Presidential Candidates, And Their Dance Moves Are Ridiculous
I'd like to give a heartfelt thanks to Huanshi Ltd. for helping me laugh for an hour straight today. That's the company that created MyIdol, the selfie animator app the entire Internet is obsessed with right now. As Buzz60 put it, MyIdol "combines everyone's love of selfies with dancing cartoons." Specifically, you can upload a picture of your face and the app renders you into a disturbingly lifelike cartoon who can do things like sing Chinese pop songs, pole dance, and practice kung fu. Can you blame me for spending half my weekend on this thing?
You know something is a wild success when everyone using it is navigating around Chinese characters — that's right; the app hasn't even been released in English yet, but non-Chinese-speaking people are making MyIdols of themselves just the same.
Well, now that everybody's (almost) had their fill making cartoons of themselves, it's time to try out this app on certain public figures. And no public figure needs to be rendered into dancing cartoons more than the 2016 presidential candidates, except the potential candidates. So I've gone ahead and included them all.
Feast your eyes on emo Ted Cruz, a pole dancing Chris Christie, and a music-festival-ready Hillary Clinton.
(You're welcome.)
Emo Chinese Pop Singer Ted Cruz
Underneath that somewhat unhinged exterior is a sensitive crooner just wanting to belt out some ballads.
Emo Chinese Pop Singer Ted Cruz
If you ever put a pic in Cruz’s hand and set him on a stage, you’ll see a totally different side to him.
Emo Chinese Pop Singer Ted Cruz
One that is in touch with his emotions.
Emo Chinese Pop Singer Ted Cruz
And knows Chinese.
Emo Chinese Pop Singer Ted Cruz
The public may not know this, but Cruz has a surprisingly smooth voice.
Raver Marco Rubio
The MyIdol version of Marco Rubio is basically the main character in the next Jackie Chan movie, about a techno DJ who is also a kung fu master.
Raver Marco Rubio
It’s called Rumble in the Senate.
Raver Marco Rubio
Rubio’s signature style is called “The Bottle Grip.”
Raver Marco Rubio
Watch out for his low kicks!
Kung Fu Raver Marco Rubio
JK, he just wants to get turnt.
Confused Rocker Rand
If Rand Paul went through a major midlife crisis, this is what it might look like.
Confused Rocker Rand
On the one hand, he wants to look like a tough leather man (he’s not fully aware of all the implications).
Confused Rocker Rand
But on the other, he wants to perform his songs about ‘Murica.
Confused Rocker Rand
Well, who says you can’t have it all?
Confused Rocker Rand
You do you, Rand Paul.
Jeb Bush As Himself
This isn’t an alter ego; it’s the real Jeb Bush.
Jeb Bush As Himself
What, you didn’t know Bush is a huge Justin Timberlake fan?
Jeb Bush As Himself
And has been taking hip-hop dance since the ’90s.
Jeb Bush As Himself
“Do you think I’m hot?”
Jeb Bush As Himself
“Unn, take it to the bridge.”
Jeb Bush As Himself
Bush loses himself sometimes.
Jeb Bush As Himself
He doesn’t move to the music; the music moves him.
Jeb Bush As Himself
He may not have officially announced his campaign yet, but here’s hoping he’ll bring sexy back.
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
You may not know this, but underneath all those suits is a rock-hard body that’s able to do things.
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
When the potential 2016 candidate moonlights as a pole dancer three nights a week in New Brunswick, he prefers to wear his hair like Kim Jung-un.
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
His stage look is dubbed “sexy fascist.”
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
His clumsy facade is the greatest act of deception of the 21st century.
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
Can any other politician do this?
A Surprisingly Limber Chris Christie
“In your face, Obama.”
Coachella Goddess Hillary Clinton
Here’s Hillary Clinton as your music-festival dream date, with her Instagram-worthy hair and the hottest outfit from Forever 21.
Coachella Goddess Hillary Clinton
Look at how the people adore her.
Coachella Goddess Hillary Clinton
Because she gives them what they need.
Coachella Goddess Hillary Clinton
And what they want (to get down).
Coachella Goddess Hillary Clinton
Can this be her official campaign poster? Please?
Extreme Biker Joe Biden
Oh and here’s Joe Biden, who may or may not be running in 2016, but either way, he wanted to ride through on his motorcycle and troll everyone.
Extreme Biker Joe Biden
“Trynna catch me ridin’ dirty…”
