Waka Flocka Flame's Platform Is Absolutely Insane

Even with his video announcement on 4/20, it remains a little unclear whether rapper Waka Flocka Flame's presidential campaign is actually the real deal or — my own theory — an extremely creative ploy to get people to buy his albums. If you're among those who care enough to figure out if he's actually serious about running for president, then perhaps familiarizing yourself with the rapper's absolutely insane platform will offer you some clarity. At the very least, the issues Waka Flocka Flame plans to address if he's elected (craziest words ever typed) are quite entertaining.

The 28-year-old rapper doesn't seem to be at all perturbed by the fact that he's a full seven years too young to be a presidential candidate. On the contrary, he's using social media to expand his portfolio beyond music and commercials for throat lozenges and into the political front with the hashtags #FlockaForPresident and #Waka2016. He's even encouraging his supporters to sign a petition to officially put him on the ballot.

At the present moment, Waka appears to be focused on getting out of his record contract, but if he were president, he'd have his hands full with these other pressing issues on his political platform.

Legalizing Marijuana

Specifically, Waka subscribes to "a blunt a day takes the pain away" philosophy, and "unlimited weed smoking," except when it comes to the kids, who he advises to wait until they're "old enough." But how old is "old enough," Waka?

Women's Rights (aka What Women's Rights?)

For obvious reasons, I have a major bone to pick with Waka saying women already have "all the rights" just because his mom ran their household growing up. This is definitely something his campaign staff should look into.

No Dogs In Restaurants

Welp, there goes his potential pet-lover votes.

Anyone Who Wears Size 13 Shoe Or Larger Has To Take Public Transportation

Well, hey, at least you guys don't have to worry about walking everywhere. Is that a good thing? Who knows...

Raising Minimum Wage For Fast Food Workers

To $15 an hour, to be exact. According to Waka, all credit goes to In-N-Out.

Kids Need a Better Education

Sadly, Waka failed to mention college loan repayments. Instead, he's sticking to generalities by saying that he plans to "start teaching kids more reality, skills... traits." Um, OK, Waka.

So what do you say guys? Are you #Waka2016 or nah?

Image: Getty Images