Life

Most Embarrassing Vomit Stories We've Ever Heard

by Anjali Patel

Everyone has at least one horrible, scarring vomit story. It's just a fact of life. Upchucking has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. No, really, there is absolutely nothing pleasant about it. First comes the queasiness, and the sinking feeling that you might see everything you had for lunch a second time, which is one of those things are never as good the second time around. Then comes the denial phase. You try to gives yourself a pep talk and convince yourself that no, you're not going to throw up. Not today, vomit! And then you just eventually have to accept it. One way or another, something is coming up out of you. There's no fighting it.

Finally, the fun part: finding a place to hurl in the knick of time. Hopefully, it won't be on the lap of the stranger next to you. Throwing up is never fun in the moment, but sometimes it creates hilarious tales like the ones in this BuzzFeed video about people sharing their best vomit stories.

In the video, four member of BuzzFeed share cringeworthy yet hilarious stories about throwing up in icky and embarrassing ways. My favorite moment was one person shared the story of vomiting all over her mother after she forced her to take strep throat medicine.

Since I hate vomiting SO much, here are 5 things that I would rather do than throw up:

1. Have things fall through the basement rather than come back up through the attic, if you know what I mean

No, really. I don't care if we're talking nonstop poop for days, down is ALWAYS better than up. *glares at undercooked burrito and knocks on wood*

2. Sit out in the hot sun for an hour

Since I'm actually a vampire in real life, I'm generally opposed to sunlight. Still better than puking.

3. Listen to "Let It Go" on loop for an entire 24 hours

No breaks. No stopping. Just a constant stream of Adele Dazeem.

4. Give up cookies for an entire 6 months

THIS IS A BIG DEAL I basically SURVIVE on cookies, so if I didn't have them I might have to—god forbid—eat something like vegetables or salads.

5. Go running

Yes. I'm dead serious. I would voluntarily exercise if it meant I was a guaranteed a free pass on upchucking.

Images: BuzzFeed Yellow/YouTube; Giphy(5)