Fantasies are an integral part of our sexuality and learning how to role play can lead to better sex and a better relationship with your partner. But yet there's something about role playing, and embracing our deepest fantasies that seems oddly forbidden, no matter what our level of sexual experience. If your partner is revealing a fantasy to you that makes you uncomfortable, try to keep in mind that they are allowing themselves to trust you with a part of themselves that is most likely hidden from others, says Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook, a clinical sexologist. It takes a great deal of trust to be so vulnerable. "Our imagination has the ability to take us places that are otherwise unrealistic. Through creative role play and an open mind, most fantasies can be creatively acted out," says Bennett-Cook.
Much dress-up type clothing can be picked up at local thrift stores. Also, Halloween is the perfect time to stock up on fetish and role play wear for the bedroom. "Fantasy play should be fun. Don’t worry about creating the perfect scenario. Be playful and let go of expectations for everything going perfectly according to plan," Bennett-Cook says.
"Role play is so much fun and a great way for couples to explore their deepest fantasies, and because they are in a committed relationship based on trust, there are no limits to what the imagination can come up with!" says Holly Randall, an iconic photographer and host of Playboy TV’s “Adult Film School.
1. Cop and criminal
"My favorite role-play scenario is a classic with a twist: the cop and law-breaker scenario, but where the woman is the cop. I like to empower females in my work, so a scenario like this is extra sexy because the woman is in the authoritative position," says Randall.
2. Playing doctor
If costumes are your thing, a lab coat and a few “doctor tools” can be picked up at a thrift store, says Bennett-Cook. Once your “patient” is ready you can proceed with a thorough examination.
3. Meeting a stranger
"This one is especially fun to play out if done in a public place!" says Bennett-Cook. Choose a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, and plan to meet. "You’ll want a location where neither of you are known and that is busy enough that other people may observe what is taking place but not too busy that your interaction is unnoticed. One partner arrives 15 or so minutes after the other and after a time can saunter up to the other – pretending to have just met. Allow the conversation to flow as though you were first encountering a potential lover," Bennett-Cook says. After your fun and sexy conversation head back to your new lover’s place for a shameless rendezvous.
4. Sex worker
The idea of meeting with someone who is an expert in the field of sex is extremely exciting to some and an easily enough fantasy to play out, says Bennett-Cook. "One partner can set an appointment with the other and then book a room (or pretend book via your own bedroom) and wait for the sex worker to arrive at their appointed time. If you are the one arriving as the sex worker get creative and dress the part. Be it black tie, fetish wear, or from the street, use your imagination to project your sexiest self. If there’s one thing most sex workers have in common, it’s confidence, so own all the sexy parts of yourself and behave that you are worth every block of gold that your customer is about to pay you," says Bennett-Cook. Once at your “appointment” you can get busy preforming all the sexy deeds the two of you have negotiated.
5. Porn stars
"Let’s face it, porn has become the multibillion dollar industry it is because people like watching other people have sex!" says Bennett-Cook. Maybe you’ve always wondered what you and your lover looked like while having sex. Or maybe you’ve always fantasized of getting down and dirty in front of the camera. Making your own home movie may be just the fun time for you. It can also be a very sexy way to relive your time getting sexed up as well as spend some sexy time together when you’re not actually physically with each other. Our smart phones alone are capable of capturing a pretty clear picture. However, if you do choose that route make sure you have a safe place to store your video."
6. Pirate and captive
You’ve caught yourself quite the prize. "Will you make your captive into a slave or seduce them to join your band of knaves? Captives should be dressed in rags. Pirate costumes are easy to find at any party shop… or build your own at the thrift store! Turn your room into a ship’s cabin with ocean sounds and strategically placed scarves to hide modern contraptions," says Katrina “Rainsong” Messenger of the Good Love Project.
7. Maid/butler secret rendezvous
The Master and Missus are out for the evening and its time to play! "This is a great scene for the kitchen. Raid the fridge for strawberries, chocolate, whip cream… the works! Leave on your apron and bow ties and make good use of the counter tops!” says Messenger.
Images: Flickr; Giphy