"I Am Not That Girl" Spoken Word Poem By Daysha Edewi Speaks To All Of Us, Whether We're "That Girl" Or Not
We all know "That Girl." She's beautiful, charming, seemingly perfect. Her list of problems include having too many people fighting for her time and that she can never pick a filter for her selfies because they all just look so damn good. We love her. We hate her. We want to be her. But while Daysha Edewi knows she isn't "That Girl," in her spoken word poem, "I Am Not That Girl," she explains the pressures women face dealing with society's absurd standards of femininity — and why not being "That Girl" is perfectly fine.
Sometimes I think I know "That Girl." I have friends who I sometimes see as "That Girl." They're always in a relationship or have so many would-be suitors blowing up their phones that I start feeling like a bad friend for not being able to keep track. Who is Stephen with a "ph?" Oh, right — he's the one from your office who buys you lunch every day. Wait — so who's Steven with a "v?" Ah, yes — he's the guy in your apartment building who keeps asking to take you to the movies.
Knowing "That Girl," but not being her, has its pros and cons. I do have to admit, I've learned to reap the benefits of free drinks from dudes hitting on my seemingly flawless friends, and I don't even have to deal with cheesy pickup lines (#score). Then again, there was also that guy who sneezed on my face, but that was OK because he'd turned completely away from my roommate, whom he was hitting on, and none of it got on her, thankfully (#eyeroll).
Anyway, the point is that constantly comparing ourselves to an idealized person of perfection is exhausting.
So what about those of us who know we're not "That Girl?"
Even though we may try to be...
Deep down, we know better.
The truth is, "That Girl?" The perfect one? I don't think she really exist. We may think she does. We think we see her everywhere. We may think she's one of our friends. We might strive to be her. But she's not real.
Even the most seemingly confident, beautiful, well-liked girl has her doubts and insecurities, just like everyone else. So next time you see the girl at the bar getting hit on by three different guys, remember that she probably stood in front of the mirror earlier that night, thinking of her insecurities.
Now, don't get me wrong. This isn't a call for everyone to rejoice in our shared insecurities behind endless desires for perfection. This is a call to recognize that we have these insecurities and use them to redefining what it means to be "That Girl."
Maybe we can't be the girl who's perfect — but we can be the one who knows she's not and is still confident as hell. Having confidence is attractive, but the best thing about being confident isn't love from others. It's loving yourself.
Get inspired and watch Edewi's spoken poem here: