Your name has been called, the diplomas have been handed out, and the caps have been tossed. The graduation ceremony is officially over, and now it's time for the graduation party to begin. This is probably the best party of the year — even better than prom parties or any other semi-formals. It's the best one, because it's the last one. This is the final opportunity to get together with your classmates and make really regrettable, hilarious, and booze-induced decisions. Sure, you might see some of these people throughout the summer, but you won't see as many of them as you will tonight.
While it might be tempting to lean into the adrenaline you're feeling from graduating and the need to release all that pent-up school-year stress and get drunk immediately, you really shouldn't. Or at least, not right away. Graduation parties are seriously amazing for people watching, matchmaking, and best of all, eavesdropping. Listening in on the conversations of other party goers is entertaining because tonight, the same conversations will be had that are happening at every other graduation party around the world. Because of the classic emotional stages new graduates are experiencing, the thoughts and statements are extremely predictable. Here are the nine comments you'll overhear at your graduation party.
1. "This is going to be the best night EVERRRR."
Said the group of girls to your left before downing a round of lemon drop shots.
2. "I'm so ready to be done with this place."
When you hear this being uttered, pay attention to the source. Anyone who doesn't feel appreciated in their own time at school will later become a major success. This person is eager, determined, and in the ready position to charge at their goals. You might want to shake their hand now while you still can.
3. "That graduation ceremony sucked."
This will be said by those who are not quite ready to let go. They don't want to say any goodbyes, and are still looking to connect through complaints about school. Because there's no way the ENTIRE thing sucked.
4. "I'm so going to make out with him tonight."
Anyone who says this deserves major props for carpe-ing their diem. If this is the last night for everyone to be together, why not spend a little time sucking face with that hottie from psych?
5. "I've already got my summer all mapped out."
Said the list makers, the over-achievers, and the organized happiness chasers who will one day rule the world.
6. "Long distance relationships can work. We'll talk every day."
Aww... poor kids. In a lot of cases, long distance will not work out, but this is the classic denial statement uttered before reality sets in.
7. "Just wait 'til you see me in five years. I will OWN this city."
This is usually said by the d-bags who aren't so much looking for a fulfilling job and a meaningful relationship, but are really just looking to be able to name-drop and throw cash around at a roof-top pool. Steer clear.
8. "I can't believe we won't have any more homework... ever."
This is probably the most amazing realization made at a graduation party. And as such, it should be immediately followed by a ginormous cheers with everyone involved.
9. "I don't want this to end."
There will come a moment when reality comes crashing in, and someone (or you) realizes that this will be the last time you're all together. Savor the stillness, and live in that nostalgia for as long as it's hovering over you. THIS is the moment you'll remember forever.
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