Lisa Is Totally Ruining 'RHOBH'

by Lindsay Mannering

We definitely need to discuss what the hell went wrong on Monday night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 4 premiere, because... what was that. Seriously. I thought I was tuning in to watch m'favorite Bravo reality show and I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. The RHOBH had been replaced with an hour long commercial and cast members Kyle Richards, Kim Richards, Brandi Glanville, Yolanda Foster, Joyce Giraud, and Carlton Gebbia seemed complicit in the act, but no one was more to blame that Lisa Vanderpump. Our dear Lisa has done sold out, and she's bringing the entire show down with her.

It all started with that stupid Beverly Hills 100th anniversary celebration. How much did the city have to pay for that promotion? Or was it like, they wouldn't let Bravo film in their town unless they promoted the Beverly Hills municipality on the show? Whatever the case may be, I will not stand for someone trying to celebrate one of the richest zip codes in the world. Kyle said it best when she admitted that it was the weirdest party she's ever thrown because yeah: no one except for local politicians and evidently the Bravo network gives a shit that it was the 90210's birthday.

That said, I was willing to forgive the bizarre and patently promotional Beverly Hills centennial celebration but when the RHOBH episode turned into a Vanderpump Rules crossover episode, I started ripping the hair out of my Giggy doll and smashing bottles of rosé on the floor. DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM SEASON 3?!

Stop trying to trick us, Bravo. I don't care about these idiot waiters and waitresses who yell about how they're 30 while throwing a tantrum fit for a 5-year-old. For some reason, though, I do care about these middle-aged housewives with their cheating husbands, their alcohol and drug problems, and their amazing wardrobe selections and I resent the fact that I'm getting less and less of that and more and more of a cast of servers who swap STDs.

And the worst part about it all is that Lisa Vanderpump is behind all this. She was 100 percent the fan favorite across all Housewives franchises — so much so that she was invited on Dancing With the Stars, an honor no other Housewife has had — and now she's Housewives enemy number one. She's turned the RHOBH into a commercial for Vanderpump Rules and things will never be the same.

I'm so disappointed with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's slutting itself out to Vanderpump Rules and it's an embarrassment to watch. I had high hopes that Season 4 would be more real than Season 3 but it looks like it's going to be faker than ever. Thanks for nothing, Vanderpump.

Image: BravoTV