Life

Russia Is Training Literal Seals For Their Army

If you read this title quickly and were led to believe that you were about to see some extremely hot Russian army men in uniform, let me tell you up front: It's not happening. These are actual seals. But, like, really cute seals. Seals that could rival the adorableness of baby bats and are somehow more bad ass than the notorious RBG. They're Russian seals in army uniforms. (It's Russia, guys. Don't act so surprised.)

These seals actually went through training, so yes, they're in better shape than I am. They've officially learned to wear the military hats and hold guns, with impressive success. These seals are even pulling off an intense military vibe that's ever-so-necessary. Is it weird that they're doing all this in a pool? Yes. Absolutely. Am I opposed to it? Eh. Jury's still out. Probably not, though. I'm mostly in favor of everything involving seals.

To ease your nerves: They're using toy rifles. And this gimmick was all part of a themed show, which was put on in honor of the Russian World War II victory. Not only do the seals do some on point twirling, they also shoot water pistols through targets. And they have pretty phenomenal aim. In short, if you thought Russia didn't have a sense of humor, you thought wrong.

Here's the footage, from Ukraine Today:

For a viral video, this is pretty laden with history. The show, which took place in Siberia, commerated "70 years since Nazi Germany surrendered to allied forces in 1945." The show was dedicated to "those who took part in WWII, including the animals who served alongside the men and women."

Aquatic Park director Alexei Berdnikov said, "We wanted to pay tribute to those who died and those who fought."

Spectators were blown away by the fact that the seals were able to hold guns. The combination of #cuteoverload with Russian history was well-received by those invited to watch.

If you didn't get a good view of the seals taking aim and firing, this video has a ~whole new angle~:

I'm not one to comment on how a country celebrates victory, and pays respect to those who serve their country. But I feel a-okay commenting on the seal usage and how to kick their viral video game up a notch. A few things for our friends to the North might consider when making gimmicky seal videos:

1. Talking seals are always a crowd pleaser

Like, if one of the seals could've given a brief history before their performance, that would've gone a long way.

2. If the seals could've slid into the surfboard on a pool, that would've been ideal.

(Hey, it's not a critique. I'm just saying that would really enhanced the consumers experience, okay?)

Seals mastering surf boards is everything I've ever wanted out of a viral video.

3. They're gonna need a theme song, and this seems like the obvious choice:

BRB, feeling my soul lift right now and absolutely can't be disturbed.