Life

This Chart Names Your Breasts For You

by Eliza Castile

May 14, 2015

Most of the time, when the female body is brought up in conversation, it's a Very Serious Subject. And for good reason — abortion rights, breast cancer, and objectification, to name some common topics, should be taken seriously. On the other hand, look no further than that scene in Bridesmaids (you know the one) for proof that bodies can be pretty freakin' hilarious. And Lessa Millet's Boob Chart and Vaj Styles for Slutever are the perfect illustrations of that. I mean, who hasn't looked down and wondered why everyone gets all worked up about little (or not-so-little) fat deposits on your chest? They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and half the time, they're not even on the same page about which kind they want to be. In fact, I'm pretty sure my right boob cut off all communication with my left when I was a teenager, making it nigh impossible to find a bra that fits correctly.Luckily, Lessa Millet took it upon herself to draw a "scientific look at a woman's greatest accessory." Her chart categorizes boobs of all kinds, complete with handy illustrations to accompany each. Some are pretty intuitive: the teenager, the Silicon Valley, and the Mad Men are all familiar looks, figuratively speaking. Others, however, are a little less well-known, although I'm sure some of you will recognize them from last time you took a shower. Personally, I'm a fan of the weight-lifters and the freelancers, for sheer comedic value, but I'll let you decide your favorite for yourself.

<img alt="Boob-Poster01" src="http://slutever.com/wp-content/uploads/Boob-Poster01-940x746.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://slutever.com/wp-content/uploads/Boob-Poster01-940x746.gif"/>If you're a fan of the Boob Chart, you'll be happy to know that Millet has also taken on pubic hair, and once again, it's basically the greatest thing ever. Are you a bed-head, or more of a cougar? Hey, maybe you're even a John Waters. (Please tell me someone, somewhere, is a John Waters.)

For more of Millet's work, check out her Instagram.

Images: Flickr; Lessa Millet via Slutever