Veronica Mars is a private investigator. It's in her blood. It's the whole plot of the show. Heck, it's even the plot of the movie. Whether she's a high schooler solving mysteries for her classmates out of her office in the girls' bathroom, or a grown adult moving back to Neptune to open her own practice, Veronica Mars is a mystery — as a person and as a genre. Thus, it stands to reason that when one case is closed, five more of them open. Quite honestly, Veronica is going to be buried in mysteries until she retires, and not all of them are going to be of the murdering variety. Some of them are going to be pretty commonplace, but just as important to solve.
Looking back on the amazing show that was Veronica Mars, and re-watching the film, might make you start to feel bad for the girl after a while. That thirst for knowledge that she has means that the metaphorical war will never be over for her. While the rest of us are relaxing on vacations and taking naps, Veronica will be hitting the streets with her camera to track down the latest bad guy and seek out the answers everyone else is missing. So what other mysteries is Veronica going to have to solve when she's not buried in murder cases and infidelity lawsuits? I can think of seven.
1. The Mystery Of The Dirty Cops In Neptune
Seriously, who keeps hiring all these guys who won't do their jobs? If they got rid of the entire Neptune Police Department and just replaced it with Keith and Veronica, the department would instantly become 100 percent more efficient and 500 percent more likely to actually put the right guy behind bars.
2. The Mystery Of Logan's Endless Sex Appeal
Whether he's a teenage dirt bag or an adult still missing the one that got away, Logan Echolls remains one of the most alluring bad boys in all of fictionland. What is it about him that continues to captivate us (and Veronica) so? How can we find a Logan Echolls of our own? The mystery thickens...
3. The Mystery Of Everyone Not Taking Her Seriously
She's been dismissed for everything from her gender to her hair color, and you'd think people would learn to start shredding evidence, packing up, and moving away as soon as they hear that Veronica Mars is in the general area. Is there something in the water at Neptune that prevents people from realizing Veronica is a serious threat? Now there's a mystery that needs solving.
4. The Mystery Of Why Everyone Can't Be Her
Outside of her dad, Logan, Mac, Wallace, and Weevil, it's got to be hard for Veronica to walk around and have to deal with the fact that there are so many people in Neptune who aren't as smart, funny, kind, or badass as she is. Her life is hard, you guys. If only she could figure out how to clone herself, or, rather, clone her spirit so she could just possess everyone in Neptune with her coolness.
5. The Mystery Of Mac's Absolute Greatness
And who is the only lady out there who is even half as cool as Veronica herself? OK, the answer is Lilly Kane, but, since she's dead, the answer has become Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie. Much like Logan is dripping with sex appeal, so too is Mac dripping with wish fulfillment and greatness. How can we bottle some of that greatness so that we, too, may walk around with that much swag?
6. The Mystery Of Her Own Pop Culture References
Seriously, is there any movie, film, or book that Veronica hasn't seen or read in the event she needs to make a clever reference to it later? The only person more pop culture savvy than her is Logan Echolls and, well, the reasons the two are perfect together aren't exactly a mystery. But, seriously, how much of Veronica's time is spent just watching movies? She already knows the answer to this, so she should solve this one for the audience.
7. The Mystery Of Why Her Dad Is So Awesome
I think this is one of those perfect crimes for which we'll never get a true answer. Keith Mars is the greatest, and there's no explanation. We're just going to have to let him keep getting away with it.
Image: The CW; balboacounty/Tumblr (7)