This week, movie fans got some news that I'm still not entirely sure how to process: According to the Hollywood Reporter, classic teen horror movie The Craft is getting a remake. If you grew up in the '90s, no doubt you watched The Craft and, if you were anything like me and my friends, got totally into Wicca for like, a solid six months because of it. You probably also got pretty into goth fashion, at least temporarily, and started acting like you were the darkest teenager EVER, whose angst just could not be contained. It was a pretty solid time in life, and the movie still holds its own as one of the best cult classics of the decade. But will the new version hold a (seance) candle to the original? Eh, that remains to be seen.
I mean, to be fair, we haven't seen the new version of The Craft, so it would be unfair to make judgments on whether or not it'll really be any good. The problem is, The Craft was so brilliantly of its time that I worry about bringing it into 2015 and translating it to today's audiences. After all, so many of the references within The Craft, as well as the fashion and overall feel, were so 1996. To make a new version would require some serious updates in every sense, and I wonder if that might take away some of its charm.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's a while before The Craft hits theaters again, so there's plenty of time for Sony to get things right. If they want my advice, here are 7 moments from the original that DEFINITELY need to be in the remake.
Sarah & Nancy's Makeover Spell Scenes
Sarah was the one who learned how to change her appearance first with a spell, and Nancy used that same spell against Sarah later on, when she posed as Sarah herself to get back at her sex. One of the BEST things about the movie, and it's gotta be in the new version, too.
"We Are The Weirdos, Mister."
I mean, this should go without saying. Then the girls get off the bus, the driver warns them to be careful of weirdos, though Nancy is quick to correct him — they don't need to worry about weirdos because, uh, that's them.
Nancy Goes Nuts & Kills Chris
Obviously this will be part of the new version since it's a major plot point, but Fairuza Balk was downright terrifying in this scene. Clearly she was insane, and watching this back is pretty hilarious in hindsight, but it absolutely made me crap myself when I was a teenager.
The Girls Play "Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board"
Who didn't play this game at every sleepover ever in middle school? Between this and Ouija boards, you were basically up all night, scared to death. And it's all because you saw Sarah, Nancy, Bonnie and Rochelle doing it in The Craft. Our children need this!
Sarah Gives Nancy The Worst Payback Ever
Nancy took the gifts from Manon for granted and used them in the wrong way, so it was up to Sarah to teach her a lesson. A lesson which includes bugs and snakes for hands. WHAAAAT! Guys, maybe don't mess around with witchcraft, yeah?
The Invocation Of Manon On The Beach
Nothing like a group of high school girls gathered on a beach at night to invoke spirits into themselves that would help them perform spells against all who would wrong them! I mean, come on, what's not to love here?
Image: Columbia Pictures