The 13 Miley Cyrus Moments That Made Us Most Uncomfortable
It has indubitably been a huge year for Miley Cyrus. She has transformed her look completely, put out a chart-topping album, broken her engagement, and felt Robin Thicke's inappropriate stripey penis against her latex-covered butt. Miley has killed Hannah Montana and risen, like a phoenix, out of the glittery, Disney owned ashes, but it hasn't been an easy journey from Disney star to sexualized pop princess.
In the process of creating the Miley Cyrus brand, Miley has scandalized and shocked her way to the top of the charts. And although we are now slowly coming around to her new persona and her accompanying sound, there have times when it wasn't OK, when we wished sadly for the Hannah Montana of years past. However, as this wonderful year of our lord comes to a close, it seems only right to reflect on the low points, when Miley 'just bein' Miley' wasn't a good enough excuse. Besides, when it comes to reflecting on Miley's more awkward ventures, well, we can't stop. We won't stop.
The Infamous VMA Performance
It was faux-pas so great it will never be forgotten. RIP to that sexually abused foam finger, though. I hope someone took it to a bar right after the performance and paid for a year’s worth of therapy.
When She Twerked In A Unicorn Onesie
This was the first time we got a glimpse of the new Miley, and it came as a shock. She had newly shorn hair, she could (kind of) shake it to the floor with skill, and like… she owned a unicorn onesie. Little did we know, this was only the tip of the cultural appropriation iceberg.
When She Motorboated A Girl's Ass In The "We Can't Stop" Video
What better way to show you’re “down with the homies” or whatever the young folks say these days than to stick your face in a jiggling backside, right? Unfortunately, the hip and with it young people were actually not so into Miley presenting her background dancers as little more than bouncing asses, so this didn’t go over particularly well.
When She Dissed Sinead O'Connor And Amanda Bynes In One Go
In Miley’s defense, Sinead O’Connor pulled the first punch with a rather insulting open letter (and four further open letters following Cyrus’s response) but pulling up a series of tweets in which Sinead asked for psychological help wasn’t exactly taking the high road.
Miley, Stop Trying To Make 'Bangerz' Happen
Yeah, remember that fateful period when Miley was trying to make “bangerz” a word that meant “awesome songs”? Thank god that’s over.
When She Said She Was Obsessed With Her Own Thoughts
This is one of the classic cases of Miley just bein’ Miley. She tries to say one thing, says another, the world laughs. But how could we not when she seriously said, “I’m obsessed with being alone and like hearing my thoughts” ? But hey, at least she can enjoy her own company, right?
She Was So Very Naked On That Wrecking Ball
She came in like a wreeeeckiiiing balllll, and now no one will ever be able to picture construction equipment the same way ever again. I personally think that was the entire aim of this song/video.
That Time She Insinuated That Being Black Was Just A Matter Of Having A Big Ass
The direct quote here is, “Miley thinks she’s a black girl, but she’s got the flattest ass ever. I’m like, ‘I’m 108 pounds! I know!’” Oh my god… racism would be so extremely different if it were merely based on ass size.
That Poorly Timed Terry Richardson Photoshoot
Miley had the poor luck of collaborating with Terry Richardson, the famed and controversial director, right before a slew of sexual harassment accusations were publicly made against him. Whoopsie?
The 'Sexy Baby' Madness
Repeat after me: Babies are not sexy. Also even decidedly non-sexy babies shouldn’t be put in latex, be it bikini or burqa. That is bad parenting guys, very bad.
Every Time We Look At That Crazy Tongue Of Hers
PUT THAT TONGUE AWAY, GIRL. All it does is remind me of all the places it’s been on Liam Hemsworth’s body that mine will never go. Sigh.
Her Rap Skillz On Mike Will Made It's Track '23'
Or lack thereof. What we come away with is that Miley looks awesome in cut-up Bulls jerseys, but rap-wise, she makes Kreayshawn sound super hood in comparison.
When She Tattooed 'Rolling $tone' On Her Feet For Rolling Stone
I mean c’mon, I go to the OB-GYN every year but you can bet your ass I didn’t engrave a memento on my body the first time I went. Plus the tat is kinda ugly.