Let's call a spade a spade: It's a little hard to get excited about Thor: The Dark World. It's just, I don't know, these movies don't really do it for me (shields! swords! loud noises!) and I don't feel like spending the $31 (with popcorn, soda, and Raisinets) to see some superhero stuff with tissue stuffed in my ears. I mean, I can't be the only one who thinks these flicks are deafening, right? That said, I do like Thor stars Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman, so the movie has that going for it, which is nice.
The film opens Friday and is the sequel to the first movie Thor, which dropped in 2011. The first was directed by Joss Whedon, the second was helmed by Alan Taylor.
As far as I can tell, the best thing about Thor is Hemsworth's hair. Long and blonde and covered in dirt and grime and blood? I'll take it. It's the like anti-Pantene commercial in the best way. What are these Hemsworth brothers eating Down Under, anyway? I imagine they feed entirely on the nails of infants and fish eyes because there's no explanation as to how their locks are so luscious. Let's take a look at their hair, shall we?
In 2005, Chris went full-out mohawk and hey, it kind of worked.
The Country Star
In 2006, Chris rocked Nashville's finest 'do.
The Moody Part
Also in 2006, Chris brought is best dra to the ma.
Evidently, 2006 was an experimental year for the actor. Check out those 'lights!
In 2007, the fauxhawk was in fauxfrontal.
The 'Dumb and Dumber'
In 2008, Chris was more like Chris... tmas, as in Lloyd.
The Real Deal
It took him a few years but in 2009, Chris found is hair stride.
The Grow Out
Still keeping it fresh in 2010, Chris let it grow out a bit like a boss.
The Butt Part
Damnit, Hemsworth! I thought we were on a roll. In 2010, Chris let it grow out a little too much and whoops: there's now an ass crack on his head.
In 2011, Chris took a page out of brother Liam's book and rocked the side swoopyness.
The Dark and Stormy
It's darker, it's stormier, it's Hemsworthier.
The Angel Greaser
Is that product in his hair, or were angels weeping tears of joy on his head? Let's face it: you'd weep happy tears, too, if you created that.
Last year, Chris went as Jennifer Aniston for an entire 12 months.
The KStew Repeller
Kristen Stewart has a fear of small ponytails aaaaaand... commitment.
The Soccer Player
This tucked in pony makes us want to grab our shins in "excruciating pain" and roll around on some grass until a ref yells at us to get up.
Chris went for a classic Brad Pitt 'do in 2012. Troy met Thor, and it worked.
The Game Show Host
In 2013, Chris lost the blonde dye and found his inner newscaster. Thanks for the ride, Hemsworth: your hair is ever-changing and ever-appreciated.