15 Significant TV Moments Pope Francis Missed In The 25 Years He's Had The Television Off
In an interview with Argentinean newspaper La Voz del Pueblo, Pope Francis revealed that being the holiest man on Earth isn't all blessings and stylish hats. The pope said that he misses good pizza, but he also dropped one huge revelation: Pope Francis hasn't watched television since 1990. The interview, published Monday, reported that His Holiness also has abstained from the Internet and has to get a member of the Swiss guard to tell him the scores of the Argentinian soccer team's matches.
Pope Francis is missing more than just dribbles and goals. Television is constantly filled with countless on-screen moments that he didn't get the chance to laugh, cry, swear, or throw popcorn at. While he blessed the masses or prayed for the sick, children cooked competitively, couples kissed in glorious season finales, fairytale creatures came to life, dramatic car chases ended in trials, royals were married, and the word "housewife" came to have a completely new meaning.
Just in case Pope Francis decides to break his self-denying stint or gets a member of the Swiss guard to read this to him, we have compiled a list of the most unforgettable TV moments (spoilers ahead) since 1990, when he last flicked on the remote.
Johnny Carson's Last Show
The pope is old enough to have been a Johnny Carson fan, but he never got to catch the emotional last show. Carson cried and declared himself one of the luckiest people in the world. Pope Francis should have kept the TV around at least until 1992 to see this.
The O.J. Simpson Chase
O.J. Simpson's car chase is still one of the most talked-about moments of TV history. Pope Francis wouldn't have gotten to see the 1994 action or the following trials.
When Buffy's Mom Was Slayed
Pope Francis never shared in the bad special effects, stakes, and leather pants of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and that should make you cry almost as much as you did when Buffy found her mother dead of an aneurysm. Plus, the pope might have liked all the crucifixes.
When Rachel Got Off The Plane
Approximately 52.5 million people watched the Friends finale in 2004, and if he is to be believed (if you can't trust the pope, who can you believe?), Pope Francis wasn't one of them. He missed the hit sitcom all together, but we can imagine him dabbing his eyes with his cap as he watched Ross and Rachel finally make things work.
When The Plane Crashed
The plane crash in the pilot episode of Lost and all of the twists to follow sparked countless debates and speculations that Pope Francis shouldn't have missed out on. Like everyone else at the time, he probably would have been afraid to fly for weeks.
Betty Draper Shooting Pigeons
There are hundreds of iconic Mad Men moments that Pope Francis could have enjoyed, and who doesn't love Betty Draper shooting her neighbor's pigeons, cigarette dangling from her lips, and breaking out of the traditional '60s housewife narrative? He might have balked at the violence, though.
The Sopranos Finale
When the last sequence of The Sopranos went black, fans were left in emotional chaos. We can just see Pope Francis yelling at the TV, enraged at creator David Chase along with everyone else.
Tina Fey And Amy Poehler As Sarah Palin & Hillary Clinton
Pope Francis missed a multitude of hilarious sketches from Saturday Night Live. He could have caught up on American politics by watching some of the funniest comedians impersonating politicians, such as Fey and Poehler's iconic treatment of the year's most high-profile female political leaders.
Teresa Flips The Table
When Teresa Giudice of The Real Housewives of New Jersey turned over a table in a rage, Pope Francis should have been in his living room to see it. That means he also missed Giudice's time on The Celebrity Apprentice and all the ensuing Housewifenews.
The Royal Wedding
Pope Francis probably caught the live feed of the 1981 wedding of Charles and Diana, but he missed Kate's and William's big day. It's a shame that he didn't get to compare hat notes with the sisters.
The Death Of A Gentleman
If Pope Francis had caught even a glimpse of Downton Abbey, he would have had to give up on his permanent TV hiatus then and there. The death of romantic lead Matthew Crawley would likely have stopped the pope's gentle heart for a moment.
The Red Wedding
This Game of Thrones season three nightmare was less glamorous than that of the young royals of Britain, but who can say which was more entertaining? The pope's guards would just have needed to protect him from spoilers.
Breaking Bad's "Ozymandias" Episode
Largely considered by fans to be the best episode from the immensely popular show (or from all time), the Ozymandias episode of Breaking Bad would give the papal leader 47 minutes of psychological stress if he had to try to determine whether or not Walt is really human. The constant back-and-forth is exhausting.
When Ted Met The Mother
It's probably a good thing that the pope missed out on this depressing finale, but he never got to know that Ted did find love and become a great father. If only Pope Francis had Netflix...
The Parks And Recreation Finale
Pope Francis will never get to see Leslie Knope reach her political dreams or take on a waffle tower, which is incredibly sad for him. Hopefully, someone in the Vatican can recite to him this endearing finale and all the other fantastic TV out there.
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