News

As You Wish, The Princess Bride is Going to Broadway!

In 2007, rumors about The Princess Bride musical deal were buzzing about Hollywood. William Goldman, the writer of the fairytale-turned-cult-classic was working alongside Adam Guettel (Composer,The Light in the Piazza) to develop the project. However, the show halted due to financial battles, and fans were left feeling like they were stumbling down the Cliffs of Insanity. Have no fear! Your wish is coming true! Disney Theatrical Productions has officially begun collaborations with Goldman to finally take The Princess Bride to the stage.

By the looks of how things have been going for Disney Theatrical Productions, The Princess Bride is going to be big. The Lion King just surpassed an historical $1 billion box office and the Aladdin musical is due out in February. It’s Disney for crying out loud, of course they’re going all out. Just how unusually sized will the Rodents of Unusual Size be? How much subliminal Star Wars crossover nerdery can we expect if any at all?

We trust the brilliant minds of Broadway to bring the story to life, but the real question we all must ask is: WHO IN THE HECK IS GOING TO PLAY THESE ICONIC ROLES? It’s been nearly 30 years since The Princess Bride film was released, so here at Bustle we think there ought to be nods to the charm of the original cast with some fresh personalities and a few twists to the characters. Here’s our dream casting, as we wish.

by Rachel Semigran

Westley: Andrew Rannels

He was born to play a Disney prince, just look at that swoop! And if The Princess Bride is going to be a musical Rannels is the perfect lead. If you were lucky enough to catch him in the lead for The Book of Mormon you know he's got the pipes and comedic chops to totally master the role that Cary Elwes created.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Westley Runner-Up: Eddie Redmayne

Another dapper choice. We're used to Redmayne singing the song of angry men, but it's high time he throws on his Pirate pants and tries comedy out.

Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Inigo Montoya: Maya Rudolph

Just imagine Maya Rudolph in her Donatella Versace voice saying the legendary line, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." PURE. GOLD.

Theo Wargo/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Buttercup: Anna Kendrick

OF COURSE Anna Kendrick needs to be the Princess Bride. It's 2013 y'all and ain't nobody got time for a "damsel in distress." Kendrick is witty, graceful, and utterly original. She'd probably take up a sword or two or seven and kick ass all over Florin. Oh, and in case you missed it, her little tune 'Cups' from Pitch Perfect is a huge hit, so ya know, she can sing.

Paul A. Hebert/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Prince Humperdinck: Taye Diggs

I know, I know, he sort of makes it impossible to hate the bad guy (Case in point: RENT). But still! Diggs' voice has been scientifically proven to melt theater-goers into puddles of goo on the floor. Messy, but totally worth it.

Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Fezzik: Jason Segal

Goofy, lovable, gigantic in stature, and knows how to keep 'em laughing. After Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Muppets, we're sure he's got plenty of schmaltz left to take over Broadway.

Ben Gabbe/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The Grandfather/Narrator: Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in Rotation

Have you seen and are completely enamored by their glorious friendship all over the Interwebs? Of course you have, you're a human person with a pulse. If their current rep on Broadway tells us anything it's that THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF THEM. Also, they are magical.

Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The Grandson: Nolan Gould

He's highly underused in Modern Family and the young actor is a Mensa-level genius. He'd be inquisitive and utterly charming.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Vizzini: Rebel Wilson

Would she or would she not be the most hilarious singing henchwoman on stage? Yes, yes she would be.

Theo Wargo/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Miracle Max: Will Arnett

Billy Crystal gave this role its original panache, but we think Arnett would add plenty more pizazz (and perhaps update a role that harbors on overly stereotyped).

Jason Kempin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Valerie: Retta

Who better to keep Max (Arnett) in line? Maybe Disney will incorporate a Live Tweet feed on the curtain during intermission. #TreatYoSelfToTheTheater

Mark Davis/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The Impressive Clergyman: Martin Freeman

Because there is simply never enough of Martin Freeman being bumbly.

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Count Tyrone Rugen: Peter Dinklage

Because Peter Dinklage doesn't have enough for us to geek out over. Also, he'd be totally evil and perfect in the part.

Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The Mother: Robin Wright

Oh come on, there has to be at least one tip of the hat to the original cast. A small role would be just enough to make us all swoon.

Ben A. Pruchnie/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
114