Women and men are different when it comes to sex. We know this. There have been endless studies, books, movies, you name it — all about this fact. And while I can't speak for the guys, I can speak for myself and my girlfriends: When it comes to getting off, we're totally mental. What I mean is that we're mental in the sense that our heads really have to be in it to reach climax. And this is particularly true when we're receiving oral sex.
The same can be said for giving as well, but that's a whole other strain of thoughts — or in some instances, mental songs! Side note: There should be a Spotify playlist dedicated to just the tunes that enter our heads while we're going down. (Pro tip: A good one for rhythm is Corey Hart's "Sunglasses At Night.")
Before I dive too far into that great idea (although feel free to tell me your song choices, I just may just have to make this playlist!), let's get back to what we gals think about when receiving. Because to really enjoy the feeling and wonderment that is oral sex, we need to be comfortable so we can enjoy ride.
But that doesn't mean these nine thoughts don't occasionally cross our mind during oral.
1. Leave My Legs There, Please
This varies from person to person, obviously. But everyone has a certain oral position they favor over others — whether that means legs close together, spread apart gymnast-style, or hanging over the edge of bed. No matter what it is, your partners seem to, at least at one point, try to decide this position for you. And in your head, you're screaming: Are you serious? Help me help you here.
2. God, I Hope I Don't Smell
The smell factor. Look, it's just there. You're going to think about at least once in this game. It doesn't matter if you're the cleanest woman who ever walked the earth, or if you're fresh out of a shower during which you doused yourself thoroughly in various Spring-scented soaps. It's still your vagina. And there's a face in it.
3. A Little... Wait, No, The Other Left
It's like we're calling NFL plays in our mind. We even shift our bodies to mimic our thoughts. The more effective thing to do would be to tell the other person, but sometimes when you're in the zone, you try telling them with your mind and body first.
4. OK, This Has Been Going On A While Now. How Do I Break The News That It's Not Going To Happen?
Sometimes it's just not there. Maybe your mind wandered too much, maybe you just weren't in the mood... maybe he or she sucked at it? Whatever the reason, you know your body. And therefore, you know when it's a lost cause.
5. Oh My, You're Good At This!
Nice work, whoever is giving! Your skills are being recognized. This is probably going to work out well for you.
6. I Can't Believe That Jerk Threw Me Under The Bus At Work
Something from your everyday life will at one point enter your head. Expect it. But then attempt to get it out of there as quickly as possible.
7. I'm Close. Really Close. Concentrate, Concentrate, Concentrate!
Congrats! You're about to cross the finish line. It's when you're on the brink that a momentary mind-wander can, well, make you fall flat on your face rather than float to the sky.
8. OH. MY. GOD. HOLY. SH*T. THIS. IS. I. CAN'T. $^%*)@%)*%*__*_*^#$
This speaks for itself.
9. They're Going To Want Me To Return The Favor. And I Can't Move.
PS: If the second part of this is true, you did it right.
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