This year was a mixed bag for the world of Hollywood in terms of wins and losses. There were some major triumphs in the industry for women. And yet, there were also some ugly truths revealed about the place of minorities in film, music, and television. For every Tina and Amy moment, there was a Miley Controversy. For Kerry Washington winning three honors at the NAACP Image Awards, Saturday Night Live continued to whitewash its programming. There were little slip-ups and big controversies that made the year in Entertainment one full of groans, eye-brow raises, turned stomachs, and big fat question marks. Here's our list of 2013's big Celebrity Face-Palms, Fails, and Total Nose-Dives.
Justin Bieber's Too Frank About Anne Frank
Let’s set the record straight: Justin Bieber has done A LOT of shit head things in 2013. Where to begin and where to finish is an exhaustive task. However, his most cringeworthy moment of 2013 was when he decided Anne Frank would have been a Belieber. The professional turd wad visited the historic site of Anne Frank’s house in Amsterdam and wrote in the guest book, “Anne Frank was a great girl, hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” What? IF SHE HAD SURVIVED THE HOLOCAUST? Cripes! Uh, I guess the sentiment was there, but you know, coming from a blonde-haired, blue-eyed millionaire, it’s just horrendous.
Blackface is NEVER Okay
Julianne Hough “dressed up” as Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black and donned blackface for the occasion. The actress apologized on Twitter, stating, ”I am a huge fan of the show Orange is the New black, actress Uzo Aduba, and the character she has created. It certainly was never my intention to be disrespectful or demeaning to anyone in any way. I realize my costume hurt and offended people and I truly apologize.” Though I have a feeling it’s not going to be enough to un-tarnish her reputation. Because, oh for the love of all that is holy, why would anyone ever wear blackface in 2013?
Lady Parts Caused Your Cancer?
Earlier this spring, Michael Douglas discussed the nature of his oral cancer in an interview with The Guardian. The actor noted, “Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.” At best, it raised awareness about HPV, at worst it caused partners to give up the pleasure of oral sex. Or who knows, maybe some crazy jerk out there will just start blaming women for everything. Bottom line: Have a conversation with your partner about these things, and maybe not make it national news.
Watch Your Mouth, Meryl is Everything
Ohhhhhhhh, GORL. I know Jennifer Lawrence is everyone’s #1 crush. She’s talented, approachable, and seemingly un-Hollywood. You just want to hang out with her and talk shit, I get it. HOWEVER, she broke a cardinal sin of being an actor: SHE DISSED MERYL STREEP. Well, that, at least, is how plenty of viewers saw it. After winning a Golden Globe in January for her performance in Silver Linings Playbook, the actress sighed, “I beat Meryl!” Though she simply was referencing a line from First Wives Club , many didn’t catch the callback. Perhaps she should have chosen a movie that most of us only watch drunk at 3am on a Saturday night on TBS.
Boobs and Bulemia: HILARIOUS
HAHA. YOU MADE A SONG ABOUT BOOBIES. HAHA YOU MADE A JOKE ABOUT WOMEN THROWING UP TO FIT INTO THEIR GOWNS. HAHA CHRIS BROWN BEAT UP RIHANNA. HAHA WOMEN ARE DIFFICULT AND STUBBORN WHEN DOING EVERYTHING EVEN TRACKING DOWN OSAMA BIN LADEN. HAHA SALMA HAYEK WAS NOMINATED AN ACADEMY AWARD FOR HER BRILLIANT WORK IN FRIDA BUT WHO CARES, JUST LOOK AT HER.
Al Roker Pooped at the White House
Finally! A Celebrity “Whoopsy Daisy” that doesn’t make us despair. Any time you’re having a bad day, or when you’re feeling like the world has turned against you, and when blasting “Run the World (Girls)” in your headphones isn’t enough… remember, Al Roker once pooped his pants at the White House.
Let's Stop Calling Other Women Whores, Shall We?
In case you missed it, Rashida Jones found herself in the middle of a heated Twitter debate after she tweeted, “This week’s celeb news takeaway: she who comes closest to showing the actual inside of her vagina is most popular. #stopactinglikewhores,” Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesh. As a respected female figure in the business, maybe use that status to say something a little more empowering or encouraging for women, eh Rashida?
You're Not Helping Here, Kenan
Saturday Night Live was rightfully put under scrutiny in 2013 for its very apparent diversity problem. Of the six new cast members introduced this year, all were white and only one was female. There are currently two African-American cast members on SNL : Jay Pharoah and Kenan Thompson. The last female cast member of color was Maya Rudolph in 2007. Thompson’s response to the situation: “Like in auditions, they just never find ones that are ready.”
I Was So Excited, And Now I'm So Sad
Saved By The Bell’s Jessie Spano (played by Elizabeth Berkley) had an epic and cult-famous caffeine pill freak out. “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so scared!” In early October, Berkley re-lived that famous scene while competing on Dancing With The Stars. Rather than leaving us all giggly with nostalgia, it just left us wishing we could un-see it.
Cool it With All Of The Gay Jokes, Everyone
James Franco is an eccentric guy, to say the very very least. The actor was given the royal treatment during the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco. There is PLENTY of material to go on, however, it seemed like the best anyone could come up with was to make jokes about the actor’s sexuality — 26 in total. Because I guess “YOU’RE GAY” is a thing that’s funny to people. There were also some uncomfortable jokes about Judaism and Trayvon Martin. C’mon, seriously?
Say it Isn't So, Bey!
Queen Bey was asked to sing the National Anthem at Barack Obama’s Innauguration Ceremony. She looked stunning, Jay looked prouder than ever, and we all were insanely jealous of the obvious BFF status of Michelle and Beyoncé. HOWEVER, Beyonce broke all of our hearts when it was revealed that she lip synced (err, sang along with a pre-recorded track) her performance. It was cold, yes. It was outdoors, yes. But c’mon, it’s for the POTUS. Ya gotta deliver the real thing.
That's Not What 'Take Back the Night' Means, Justin
Earlier this summer, Timberlake released a new single “Take Back the Night” from his upcoming album. Unfortunately, the title of the song shares a name with the victim support group Take Back the Night Foundation. Timberlake claimed he never heard of the group prior to its release but hoped that the controversy surrounding it would lead to more awareness to the work of Take Back the Night Foundation. Though we appreciate his goodwill, we can’t help but wonder how, with all of those millions, and dozens of people working for you, not ONE person thought to Google the name? C’moooon.
Miley Vs. Sinead
What could have been a meaningful conversation about women and ownership of body and self in the music industry turned into a barb-throwing mess. Sinead O’Connor posted an open letter to Miley Cyrus about being weary of the music industry and its way of turning female artists into “prostitutes.” Cyrus responded with a few digs and remained within her usual Bad Bitch persona. It wasn’t good for women, or anyone for that matter.
So, Paula Deen is a Racist
The former Food Network star was caught in the middle of a huge scandal after unabashedly saying some seriously racist shit. Her horrendous actions were brought to light in a deposition for which she was being sued by a former manager of one of her restaurants for repeatedly dropping the n-bomb and using derogatory language. The lawsuit also revealed that Deen once threw a slavery era themed wedding for one of her sons. She’s been canned by the Food Network and many of her endorsement deals, but still remains in business with some. Gross. Paula Deen: Perhaps the Celebrity of 2013.
And Brad Paisley is an "Accidental Racist"
The musical version of a face palm if we’ve ever heard one.