Many of us can say that we have experienced a hangover at some point in our lives thus far. And, OK, some of us can say we have experienced them a lot more than others. But, regardless of the frequency in which your body revolts against your alcohol intake, I think we can all agree on one thing: we are not happy campers when we are in the midst of one. In fact, often times, we become grumpy, impatient, reluctant, and stubborn versions of ourselves because of our self-inflicted, alcohol induced illnesses. Basically, we become just like Parks and Recreation’s lovable yet irritable Ron Swanson.
Listen, I truly, unabashedly love Ron Swanson, and so I can say this with the utmost sincerity: being like him is not a bad thing, it’s a necessary thing. Because, taking on his aloof persona is basically just a defense mechanism against all of the evils that can plague you while your body rids itself of the surplus of Jager bombs you stupidly ingested. Besides, I’ve realized that identifying with Ron so intimately is like our own personal way of keeping him and Parks and Rec alive even after its passing. Which is sort of sweet in a really disconcerting way. Sentimentality aside, here’s proof that you turn into Ron Swanson when you’re hungover:
When you wake up and your head and stomach have waged a civil war on your body
*Sprints to nearest toilet*
When your boyfriend goes to turn on the light
When your friends try to lecture you about your drinking habits
Shut it, Becky. I drink alcohol just fi-- *Clutches head to stop it from exploding*
When you're at breakfast, trying to undo all the damage that has been done
When you inhale your meal and your friends have barely touched theirs
Tbh, it's disheartening.
When your ex thinks it's cool to carry on your drunken conversation the next morning
What happens in a drunken stupor, STAYS in a drunken stupor.
When your dog is the only one sympathetic to your plight
Angels on Earth.
When you still have responsibilities you have to attend to
When you cry because your friend puts on the TV too loud
Like a spear right through your noggin.
When your significant other tries to get you in the mood
Ain't. Happenin'. But good try.
When you look at yourself in the mirror after vomiting
Basically, that point in the hangover when you just want to divorce yourself.
When someone serves you a horrifying concoction that's supposed to be a hangover "cure"
No thank you.
When your friends get excited over the prospect of a fun, mid-day activity
*Hisses from underneath blanket*
When you get tagged in comprimising Facebook photos from the previous night
How does one even USE Facebook anymore?!
...And your mom comments on them
Whenever you get your hands on a source of water
AKA, your lifeblood.
When you're suddenly hit by an unexpected wave of nausea late in the day
When the 911 operator won't help you
This IS an emergency, M'am.
When it's 8 pm, you're still sick, and you're certain that you're dying
So long, cruel world.
Images: NBC; Giphy (19)