What the Hell Went on at Alec Baldwin's Stalker Trial?

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As the world spun madly on today, Alec Baldwin's life got a little... well, a lot weird in an NYC courtroom. According to GawkerAlec Baldwin appeared in court to confront his stalker, Genevieve Sabourin, and gave a testimony that was so emotional for him, he began crying. Then, he was heckled by said stalker in the court room, before he eventually went outside to threaten bodily harm to a New York Post photographer, because we all know about the special relationship he has with the paparazzi.

No, I don't know what happened either. Let's attempt to figure it out together, shall we? 

OK, so we know Alec Baldwin was in court to testify against Sabourin, who is accused of harrassing and stalking him. She claims that the two met in 2002 before sleeping together in 2010, but Baldwin alleges that she followed him to two of his homes and sent him "hundreds" of emails and texts. He does admit that they met and he spoke with her on the phone, but only as a "favor" to Scarface producer Martin Bregman — who Baldwin says actually had an affair with Sabourin. Easy enough to follow.

According to TMZ, during his testimony, Baldwin began "sobbing" on the witness stand as he recalled an incident when he alleges Sabourin showed up at his East Hampton home, the same night he proposed to his current wife, Hilaria. When he began to cry — tears that "some spectators in the courtroom felt [were] not authentic," for the record — Sabourin apparently began to heckle him, shouting "Why is he crying?" 

When Baldwin claimed that the two never slept together, Sabourin grew more and more heated: "Really?! Wow, you're lying, I can't believe you're doing that!" She also accused him of having a "lying disease," whatever that is, and pointed to her hip to indicate that he has a scar there, which she could have only seen if she'd seen him naked before. When the judge threatened to hold her in contempt of the court, Sabourin refused to be quiet — "I gotta prove that I had a sexual relationship. I didn't do anything wrong. He's lying! He's lying!" — and so her lawyer removed her from the room. 

Damn. Imagine if this guy had a reality show, right? It would certainly do much better in the ratings than his MSNBC show is doing, which is to say, it's not doing that well.

Baldwin's wacky adventure wasn't over yet, though: As he was leaving Baldwin reportedly spotted a New York Post photographer that he recognized, and immediately proceeded to threaten the guy: "I hope you choke to death." Aaaaaaand scene.

In summation: I am not any closer to understanding why the things that happened in Alec Baldwin's life today happened. But at the very least, I know what I want for Christmas, now: An Alec Baldwin reality show. Please, make it happen?

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