There are certain things people with experience will tell you when you move in with your significant other: You have to compromise. You have to be patient. You will perpetually be living in a cloud of their fart smell. All these things are obvious to those planning a big move. But what about the not so obvious things? We all know we can't just walk away when we've committed to living with someone, but do we really know what that means? NO. The answer is no. You don't really know what you're getting yourself into until you get yourself into it. And no matter what anyone tells you, there's nothing that can really prepare you for what really goes down when you move in with your S.O.
I'm about to tell you some of the things your friends and family probably won't mention. And even still, there might be things that happen to you that haven't happened to me that will be just as unexpected. Hence why nobody tells you about them. Don't let this scare you off moving in. It's still the best thing I've ever done with my S.O. But just know this: expect the unexpected, and be prepared to find someone else's weird bits of bodily detritus on your couch cushions. Here are six things no one ever tells you when you move in with your significant other:
1. You're going to find out some really dark things about them
Like, so dark. You think knowing their childhood issues is deep? Farting around one another? No. You don't know true darkness until you've watched someone peel their calloused skin off the bottom of their foot and put it on the coffee table. Prepare to know what the underside of your partner's toenail's smell like. Shit is going to get real in a way you were definitely not prepared for. This is the stuff that makes "daddy left me" and egg farts seem like child's play. Winter is coming.
2. You will consider murder
Not because you're mad and want to kill them, but because the thought will cross your mind that this person trusts you enough to put themselves in a situation where you can kill them while they sleep. Or poison them slowly. This person has literally put their life in your hands and you could absolutely murder them at any time. Again, it's not that you WANT to. It's just that the human brain is a terrifying place and this thought will cross your mind, and it will make you feel so weird when it does.
3. They're going to break your shit
Something you love is going to be broken or spilled on by your S.O. when you live together. Maybe it will be your favorite mug. Maybe it will be red wine on the carpet. Just wait for it. And you're going to have to be patient and kind about it, because everyone makes clumsy mistakes, and love is more important than things.
4. It doesn't mean you're going to see each other all the time
Living together sounds like you're going to be together ALL THE TIME but this thing called life is still going on around you. Living together means you're guaranteed to sleep in the same bed every night, but it doesn't necessarily mean you'll spend more time together. It definitely does mean you have to try HARDER to do things together, especially off the couch.
5. Relationships are 99% unsexy
Get ready to go from being un-showered in sweatpants to sex! Sure, there will still be times where there's romance and sexy lingerie, but overall, sex is going to be pretty unglamorous (although still wild and fun). Meanwhile, you'll probably also find yourself planning time for sex, and fitting it in in between cooking and whatnot. You're also going to have to go through times where there's no sex, for instance, when one of you is sick. Sex is important, but once you're cohabiting it's less of a priority. When you only spend a few night a week together, you could go at it like bunnies. But now that you're doing actual life together, all the time, if you did it every waking moment you'd probably die.
6. You're going to wonder how you ever did life alone
The fear is real. Once you start cohabiting it's going to be so wonderful and amazing you'll wonder how you ever lived without this person, and you'll pray that you never have to again. It's all very Edward and Bella and will probably make you want to spew, but it's still quite a lovely feeling.