It's almost cliché, really. The hot swirl of fried potatoes mingling with an arousing hint of salinity. Hazy glow buzzing softly like some seductive lullaby, outlined in soft golden arches. Ahh, McDonalds. I feel turned on just thinking about the feeling of unwashable grease seeping into my finger pores and how that same grease would soon pad out the interior of important organs...wait. That is...pretty gross. So I guess it's safe to say this guy's move was pretty questionable when he chose to propose to his girlfriend at McDonald's drive-thru. It's chill, though. Love makes people crazy.
Imagine it's any normal night in which your boo gets a hankering for a fried chicken sandwich with NO mayonnaise, so y'all roll up to Mickey D's drive-thru, all casual, because I guess this is a normal thing that happens enough that no one catches a whiff of something fishy (or maybe that's because there's way too many other questionable smells happening that mask the fishiness). Anyway, that's what went down with this couple when a dude hid a camera in his car to catch his girlfriend checking his fried animal snack for manipulated egg fat stuff only to find an engagement ring in there. At first this feels like some fever dream following an ill-advised Hulu Plus binge paired with a secret bag of Fritos—until her initial response: "Are you being serious?"
The slow turn says it all. When "all" means "...really?" Really. Her answer isn't hugely surprising.
At first, it seemed this guy is actually the worst guy ever. However, the description below the video helps put it a little in context but...it's still inexcusable. Apparently, homie says he's "never been good at planning in advance" which is how the duo spent their first date at this LA McDonald's. I'd like to call BS immediately on this shoulder-shrugging assertion. No one is naturally good at planning in advance but as functioning adults who move helpfully through society, we learn. That's like saying you're no good at brushing your teeth, so you just don't, which is why teeth are rotting clean from your head (I'm looking at you, specific ex o' mine). It doesn't work.
Anyway, I could see the romantic potential in the whole first date callback. Like how my brother-in-law proposed to my sister in the same park where they spent their first date as teens. But that's a park. Not a super huge corporation hinged on the American obesity epidemic in order to stay afloat financially. This is a garbage proposal, and I'm happy she did not accept it. Think about the sort of groundwork accepting it could lay for their future together: Literally every anniversary ever spent sipping flat Diet Coke in a sticky booth seat. This makes me want to take a shower, TBH.
Sometimes I learn information I wish I could unlearn. Like this morning, for example. I learned this is not exactly the inaugural McDonalds proposal. This has happened before. A lot. Now I will try to rid myself of this knowledge by passing it to you. Not unlike The Ring. Enjoy the evidence:
At least the man before buried an actual ring in the sandwich bun. This guy crudely stabbed a chicken nugget with the back of a plastic spoon so her finger could slide through. Slide. I...hate this so much.
College is different. In college, likely ballin' out at Mickey D's was a legit occasion and to-do. Plus the guy in that proposal did other steps including gathering people, making a banner, etc. Things! Stuff! Not, "Sup babe. Scrape the mayo off my barfy sandwich for me. Also, keep doing that until one of us dies."
There's more but I have to call it quits here because it's for real bumming me out and I cannot The Ring y'all with this any longer. It's called compassion. And seriously? The girl in the first video deserves heaps of the stuff after that traumatizing experience.
Images: Getty Images; YouTube
