11 Things Only Short Ladies At Music Festivals Understand — The Struggle Is So Real
I am a short person. And most of the time, it's the greatest thing in the world: You can duck under people in crowds and move around better than most tall folks can. Being short and lacking a step stool is a perfect recipe for laziness (make tall people grab stuff for you!). Hugs from anyone who's at least three inches taller than you feel like bear hugs. I mean, it's just the best. Until you get to a music festival and realize that this world is built for tall people. It took me all three days at New York's Governors Ball festival this past weekend to hit my short girl stride and figure out where in the world we can stand without dodging dancing elbows or hopping up and down for an entire 45-minute set (90-minute if we're talking Drake's headliner set on Night 1). The struggle, my fellow height-challenged friends, is so real.
But you know how we're going to get through this summer of outdoor shows in venues where the ground is flat and tall people abound? We have to band together. We have to air our grievances. And we have to find some tall shoes that don't hurt when you wear them for like five whole hours of standing.
And while we work on all that, let's at least acknowledge that we are not alone. Here's what it's like to be a short girl at a festival.
1. Your Dance Moves Include The "Bob And Weave"
Because you're not looking over everyone's heads in the crowd; you're looking through select key holes of visibility between people's shoulders, their heads, and the space between their chins and their shoulders. YOU WILL SEE MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS, damnit.
2. Ridiculously Tall People Are Practically Super-Villains
"DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST SCOOT OVER TO STAND IN FRONT A PERSON HALF YOUR HEIGHT? You are clearly in cahoots with super villains the world over. And you must be vanquished!" You could shout this at them, but they probably don't even notice you're there.
3. And When They Stand In Front Of You It Feels Like What You Imagine Being Trapped In A Box Feels Like
LET ME OUT. Or, you know, stand somewhere else.
4. Your Calves Are So Sore From Standing On Your Toes
Just leave me here. I can't go on.
5. You've Mastered The Strategic Hopping-While-Dancing Move
No pain no gain.
6. You Have Neck Strain From Always Tilting Your Head Up To See
You can do it.
7. You Know The Festival Map Like The Back Of Your Hand
Because you've been running around like a mad woman to find a place to stand where there's a smidge of visibility.
8. Throughout All Of This, You've Convinced Yourself That You'll Have Legs Of Steel By The End Of The Festival
And you will. Until you reunite with your sweet, comfortable couch.
9. You Will Eventually Find Your Spot
And fend off other short people with a vengeance. It took you all weekend to find this goldmine, OK?
10. And You Will Dance Like You've Never Danced
Because you're finally free.
11. You'll Forget All About #ShortPeopleProblems
And enjoy the rest of your day because you've got this.
Images: Rosanne Salvatore/Bustle; Giphy (11)