It’s been over a month since I last checked in on ABC’s hit soap opera Nashville, and this being a soap opera, of course, I should have known that all the relationships I’d once known would be thrown asunder just a few episodes later. In season one, this was but a quaint program where the most bed-hopping you could expect came from some combination of Rayna, Deacon, and Juliette. Now EVERYONE’s in on the fun — from the stars of the show down to glorified extras — and it’s all we can do to keep on top of this game of musical chairs. But we must try. Here now, a quick primer on who is currently shacking up with who as of the end of last night’s “She’s Got You”:
Juliette and Charlie
They’ve been buffing for a while now — ever since she performed a super-casual private show at a birthday party for the media mogul’s wife — but tonight got to take their relationship to the next level. Which, on Nashville, means Charlie using his business clout to get a lecherous radio host fired. Also oral sex before one of Juliette’s shows. They’ll probably go the distance!
Juliette and Charlie’s wife, Olivia
…then again, not if the Media Mogul’s Missus has anything to say about it. She walked in on her husband with Juliette in the previous episode, so when she showed up at the end of this one — we weren’t expecting it to end well. But then rather than slap fight Juliette, she decided a far better approach would be to PLANT ONE ON HER. This plot line will last maybe an episode and a half, but credit to Nashville for trying to surprise.
Gunnar and Zoe
She’s Scarlett’s roommate and “best friend” or something, at least as of the beginning of this season? I think she works at the Bluebird, and ostensibly is into music — she IS in Nashville — so hey, why not. Anyway, it makes sense in the context of a soap opera. Conflict will erupt when Scarlett finds out before the Christmas break, which she and Gunnar will work through en route to a season-ending reconciliation.
Scarlett and Avery
Like I said above, I wasn’t there for whatever happened last time to drive these guys back into each others’ arms. But I’m guessing it had something to do with loneliness and alcohol? None of us can be too upset by this union when it produces great buddy comedy for Avery and Deacon, who’s using the former as a guitar-playing surrogate while his hand heals. Banter! Issues with milk in the refrigerator! That’s the real relationship I care about.
Teddy and Peggy
They’re married. It’s boring. There’s still the matter of her made-up pregnancy, which should complicate things for them sooner than later. And maybe that’s the last we see of either of them, after they’ve murdered each other?
Rayna and that guy from Smash
Another relationship whose backstory I’m only “Previously on Nashville” conscious of, Rayna DEFINITELY continues to nurse a broken heart and decides that the best way to deal is to bed as many dangerous cowboys (international, in Liam; down-home, in this guy Luke) as possible before she and Deacon get back together 16 episodes from now. And why not? She’s got HOTTIES in every zip code, guys who can drink and shoot and, presumably, make love like romance paperback cover models.
Gunnar and that slimy Edgehill exec who’s ruining everyone’s lives
How is it that Gunnar has yet to catch his big break? Seemingly EVERYONE else on Nashville (everyone else in Nashville) has gotten a record deal/tour/private plane, and Gunnar’s just hanging out with his ex-girlfriend’s best friend (see above) and watching the world pass. NOT ANYMORE. That Edgehill Exec Who’s Ruining Everyone’s Lives gets on the phone with Gunnar to buy his song. Gunnar, seeing the opportunity, turns it into dinner…and a DEAL. So yes, they’re figuratively in bed together now. Will it last? Hahahaha
Will and Layla Grant
He’s gay. She’s a devious chanteuse. It won’t last, but so long as we get lines like “what took you so long, Cowboy?” as one is diving into the other’s arms, I’m not exactly rooting for it to end.