At OrangeCon Thursday night, Orange Is The New Black enthusiasts were the first to find out about the early release of the third season, six hours before it was scheduled to debut on Netflix. Even a slightly early drop was big news, sending fans scrambling to the The Internetz to start the binging. I'm not sure if Hillary Clinton is a Orange Is The New Black fan, but if she is, I think I know how she would react.
I know her schedule is pretty tight right now, but if there is a little downtime on the campaign trail, Clinton would probably thoroughly enjoy the prison comedy. This April Clinton laid out specific points for reforming the criminal justice system, spotlighting the same problems that play out through the beloved OITNB characters. Ending an "era of mass incarceration"? That sounds like something Piper & Co. would definitely be on board with!
But whether Clinton if a fan or not, the show's early release sent loyal fans through a roller coaster of emotions. If you weren't prepared for six hours of your life to be snatched away, sending you in a zombie-like state to the couch like a slobbering pop culture slave, you're not alone. Here are the nine things you (and presumably Hillary Clinton) go through when OITNB releases early.
It's happening! There are rainbows and you are so content. You've waited too long for this moment.
Oh, you had a date? NOT ANYMORE. Call 'em up. If your sig O is willing to join you in the bunker, that's fine. Otherwise, BYE.
Sit down, drink up, and settle in. It's going to be a wonderful marathon.
4. MOAR EXCITEMENT
You're all set, lady. LET'S DO THIS, OITNB.
It's like greeting old friends! Welcome back to lock-up! Oh, how we've missed you.
Woah, I mean even watching the recap makes you remember how insane this show was. Gahhhh, this season is going to be so great!
It's hour four and you should be going to bed. But you can't. You can't do it. You're fine, really.
You're running on no sleep. You're not sure if this show was always this crazy or maybe you're seeing things.
Take a power nap. Then start it over again. Repeat until finished with the season.
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