Entertainment

Guys, Celine Dion Might Be An Angel

by Dale Neuringer

In case you, like myself, have ever wondered to yourself when the Celine Dion biopic is going to come out, I have a bit of bad news. When asked, Celine Dion, the singer of chart topper "You Loved Me Back To Life" said that such a motion picture would never be made, as her life is too boring. She then waxed on about how she sings and tidies and raises her kids and is generally a glorious and well-rounded person.

But hey, what's new? Celine Dion has been a voice to be reckoned with since the mid-'90s, and she's managed to make it this far without a hint of a scandal, or even any aggressive paparazzi incidents. Which seems almost impossible in comparison to the shocking ladies that dominate the world of pop today. She even helps foster children find homes, because, ya know, being a gifted singer and family woman and all around inspiration wasn't quite enough.

So, more or less, I'm fairly sure that Celine Dion was sent down from the heavens to belt melodiously and do good for the world, all while working baller blow-out and pantsuit combos. Think about it for a second, she wears white all the time, she's Canadian (Canadians are basically one step closer to heaven, they're so nice, plus they're quite far North) aaaand she's pretty much the nicest person in showbiz. If all these aren't marks of godliness, either I have a low tipping point for believing in the divine or Celine Dion is totally, totally an angel.

And quite frankly, I'm more inclined toward the latter. Every diva has had their issues. Whitney Houston had substance abuse problems, Christina Aguilera went drrty for a while, Mariah Carey made Glitter *shudder*, and older generations of divas had their problems too, remember Etta James' heroin addiction?

But not Celine no, she has been a shining light of hope, bringing songs about love and life to our grateful ears with nary a mark on her glittering reputation as a do-gooder. She is an angel, and we should all start treating her as such.