50 Percent Of Divorcees Had Wedding Day Jitters, New Survey Says, Plus More Ways To Tell That Your Marriage Is Doomed From The Wedding
The day of your wedding can be completely nerve-racking. If people had that ability to see just how their marriages played out in the future, they might find that maybe Julia Roberts had the right idea. Maybe that feeling of flight you experienced at the altar might have meant something. A recent study found that over 50 percent of divorcees had second thoughts on their wedding day.
The lawyers of Slater and Gordon conducted a survey of 1,604 divorced adults living in the UK. The survey found that 49 percent of people admitted that they didn’t necessarily envision ‘til death do us part’ before their wedding ceremony, and were unsure whether or not their marriage would actually last. Additionally, only 36 percent of divorcees said they felt positive about the future of their marriage during their wedding day, and 13 percent even thought about what they would do if they happened to get divorced. Thinking about divorce on your wedding day? Definitely not a good way to start a marriage.
So, why would these people go through with the wedding anyway if they had all these negative feelings inside? Well, the number one reason is, positive thinking. About 42 percent of people just hoped their marriages would just turn out for the best. Other reasons why people decided to walk down the aisle even though they didn’t feel one hundred percent sure ranged from feeling embarrassment and pressure from family, feeling like it was too late to pull out, and writing their bad feelings off as wedding day “jitters.”
Studies show that you can actually tell a lot about a marriage by their wedding day. Here are 8 ways to spot a doomed marriage from the moment you say, “I Do.”
1. Your Gut Is Telling You That There’s Something Wrong
A 2013 study published in the journal Science found that gut feelings can actually predict whether or not a newlywed couple will remain happy, citing that the initial feeling a newlywed has toward their spouse is the biggest one. The unconscious gut feeling a person has before going into a marriage determines whether or not a person will be satisfied in their marriage. So trust those gut feelings!
2. Your Engagement Ring Was Not Only Beautiful And Top Of The Line, But It Was Freakin' Expensive
Bigger may not always be better. In this case, pricier may not always be better. Sure, it’s nice to show off a flashy, expensive diamond rock on that finger, but an Emory University study of 3,000 adults found that the more money spent on an engagement ring found a lowered chance of the couple staying together. Men who spent $2000 to $4000 on their engagement rings were 1.3 times more likely to end up in divorce than men who spent only $500 to $2000 on the ring. There’s a reason they say money can’t buy love or happiness. Just ask a good majority of Hollywood.
3. Your Actual Wedding Was Just As Over-The-Top And Expensive, Too
The same study, conducted by researchers at Emory University, found that couples who spent over $20,000 on their weddings were 3.5 times more likely to end up in divorce than couples who opted for more simplicity and kept their budgets between $5000 to $10,000.
4. You Opted For The Big, White Poofy Wedding Dress
A 2014 study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women who went with Cinderella-style wedding gowns were more likely to have high fairy tale expectations of marriage. Those who expected that their marriages would play out like Aladdin and Jasmine were disappointed. In fact, the study found that women who expected everything to be Disney-esque found their marriages to be less satisfying than women who didn’t.
5. You Didn't Have A Lot Of People At Your Wedding
Those shotgun Vegas weddings may not be in your best interest if you’re looking to stick it out for the long haul. In fact the Emory University study found that couples who eloped were 12.5 times more likely to end up in divorce than couples who got married with over 200 people in attendance.
Randy Olson, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Pennsylvania who created a practical guide on wedding days and marriages wrote, “Clearly, this shows us that having a large group of family and friends who support the marriage is critically important to long-term marital stability.”
6. There Weren't Enough Happy Couples At Your Wedding
The more happy couples at your wedding, the better. As sex, body language, and relationship expert, Tracey Cox wrote in the Daily Mali:
“Marriages are like everything else in life. There are good days and bad days … Accepting that relationships aren’t static and dip and peak means having realistic expectations of what a ‘happy marriage’ means. The more couples you know in long-term relationships who’ve been there done that and navigated their way through it all successfully, the better advice you’re likely to be given.”
7. No Honeymoon = No Bueno
Word of advice, if you want to up the chances of your marriage lasting, don’t skip out on the honeymoon. In fact, the Emory University study shows that couples who went on their honeymoons were 41 percent less likely to divorce than couples who didn’t.
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