The Democrats' Snarky Statement On Donald Trump Running For President Is, Really, The Only Valid Response

Somewhere in the bowels of the Democratic National Committee, one member recently turned to another and said, "I actually think Donald Trump is going to run for president this time." "You're kidding," his coworker replied, briefly considering a move to Canada. "If it happens," the first member said darkly, "we need to be prepared." Now, I made all that up, but that's what I'm imagining preceded the snarky, perfect DNC statement about Donald Trump running for president, which was released by the organization Tuesday in the immediate aftermath of Trump's announcement that he wanted to lead the free world.

"Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days," the statement reads. "He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the GOP field, and we look forward hearing more [sic] about his ideas for the nation."

Ooh. Nice one, Holly Shulman, whom the statement names as the creator of that one-liner.

Now, you better believe the DNC muttered the exact same thing when Rand Paul announced, and shook their heads darkly when Ben Carson proudly declared he'd be running, but to deliver such a statement about a (reasonably) legitimate (kinda) presidential candidate is tricky. It makes the DNC look bitter, particularly considering that the Republicans are running the show over in Congress. Donald Trump gave the DNC the perfect excuse to come forward with its real feelings on the gigantic mess that is the Republican presidential arena.

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As the saying goes, you're only as strong as your weakest presidential contender. (OK, I made up that one, but bear with me.) Trump's announcement, which has been widely feared for decades, reduces the entire Republican presidential race to its weakest, most humiliating point: reality star and zillionaire Trump, who epitomizes every reason that wealth should not be the only factor required to run for president. Trump epitomizes the party's stereotypes: out of touch, sexist, a laughing stock, and always ready to sling cheap shots at its opponents.

Sorry, Republicans. The introduction of Trump to the race means the Democrats have won this round.

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