That's my wish listed sorted. The dildo replica of the Game of Thrones' iron throne is now available on Ebay, and so far it has zero bids because apparently no one on the planet understand art or pleasure or happiness. "How does this throne made of over 200 dildos exist?" or "Why?" you might ask, and although part of me wants to shout "BECAUSE OF PERFECTION!" I have to admit they are probably fair questions. Basically, sex toy company Bondara released a Game of Throne-themed line of sex toys called Game of Bones (which includes the Hand Of Honor and the Witch's Talon, because of course it does). The toys are separated into different areas (might I say kingdoms?): North, South, East, and West. And to promote this new line they decided to make to make "The Rubber Throne". And it looks incredible. And now it's listed on Ebay for only 650 pounds (about $1022 dollars). Yes, maybe that sounds expensive until you remember it's 200 dildos on a freaking throne. We're talking about $5 a dildo. Do you know how expensive dildos are? It's basically an unmissable deal.
You can see the best thing that's ever happened to humanity being built here, because god is good:
But don't worry, although this is the best themed sex toy I've ever seen, if Game of Thrones isn't your things there are loads more to choose from. You can pick your geeky poison (these links are all NSFWish, obviously!):
1. Lord Vadar Vibrator
Fueled by the force, obviously. This vibrator allows you to touch base with your inner dark side, if that's you thing.
2. Avatar Fleshlight
I'm not convinced by fleshlights, and I'm even less convinced by why you would need one that's blue! But I guess it's realistic looking, if reality isn't so much your thing.
3. Vampire Fleshlight
A second fleshlight, but this one is more mouth themed. If you want the feeling of a vampire sucking you dry, this is all the fun with none of the fang.
4. David The Werewolf
And completing our supernatural tour, a werewolf themed dildo, it comes in a range of sizes for all of you that really want to show your love for team Jacob. Cum tube included. (I have no idea what that means.)
Images: Bondara/YouTube; Giphy (4)