Jon Stewart Thanks Donald Trump For Running For President For A Reason That'll Both Depress And Excite You
After Donald Trump made his long-awaited presidential campaign announcement on Tuesday, Jon Stewart wasted no time jumping on it. However, his response to the news was rather unexpected — Jon Stewart thanked Donald Trump for running for president, calling it a "gift from heaven." Why? Because his campaign will be a treasure trove of fodder for The Daily Show, "making my last six weeks my best six weeks." So instead of skewering the real estate tycoon for his political beliefs and ambitions, as we've all come accustomed to doing, Stewart excitedly shouts, "Let's dance, clownstick!"
Before Stewart dove into his segment on Trump, he told viewers that it would be responsible to eat something nutritional before getting to dessert. In this case, that meant showing footage of Hillary Clinton's first campaign rally and Jeb Bush's campaign announcement, both of which bored Stewart to death as he impatiently waited for the clips to finish playing. In fact, when compared to the craziness that he was about to show next, Stewart equated Bush's announcement with the infamous "Meh" emoticon.
But then finally, it was time to have his dessert, and Stewart excitedly showed a clip of Ivanka Trump introducing her father, Donald Trump, at his announcement event. The next clip shows Trump entering the scene on an escalator, proving that the fodder is already — in true Trump style — solid gold.
Stewart is so, so happy.
Giddy, in fact.
Because it's like the joke writes itself — jokes, rather.
A billionaire vanity candidate taking the escalator to the White House! [Imitating Trump] Hey, only losers walk. Presidents take Stair Force One.
I haven't seen an entrance that majestic since my friend met me at The Gap after grabbing an Orange Julius.
After awkwardly gesturing in silence as Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" played in the background, Trump then spouted "the most beautifully ridiculous jibber jabber ever to pour forth from the mouth of a batshit billionaire." For example?
The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else's problems.How stupid are our leaders? We have losers, we have losers.When did we beat Japan at anything?China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs.[Mexicans] are bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.
Obviously, Stewart says, these statements are just plain absurd.
America's id is running for president. Trump is the part of your brain that's like at 3 a.m. going, "Let's go take a shit in a mailbox."
Stewart then shows how Trump, like all other candidates, breaks down the values that define him during his announcement speech — except, in Trump's case, those values were his $8 billion net worth, his golf courses, his various Trump Towers, the Bank of America building in San Francisco, etc.
His speech was so fucked up that in the middle of it, all the liquid in his body tried to escape through the corner of his mouth.
Then Stewart closes the segment with what appears to be sincere appreciation.
Thank you, Donald, for making my last six weeks my best six weeks. He is putting me in some kind of comedy hospice where all I’m getting is just straight morphine.
It's been a while since Stewart has been this happy over a story. He kicked off his Trump campaign coverage with so much glee that it's enough to make one wonder whether he'll consider staying on The Daily Show longer — in which case we'd all have to thank the Donald.Watch the segment below.
Images: The Daily Show/Comedy Central