Jason Schwartzman Wears A Prosthetic Penis In 'The Overnight' & He's So Excited About It That I'm Worried He Forgot He Has A Real One
All of a sudden it seems like everyone's buzzing about Sundance movie The Overnight, and two of the people who can't stop gushing about it are its stars, Adam Scott and Jason Schwartzman. But they're not just doing their normal film promo duties, hyping the movie, they're talking a whole lot about their penises — specifically, the prosthetic penises that they had to wear while filming The Overnight . The movie centers around two couples in L.A. who spend an evening together that gets super raunchy. (It's not a spoiler, remember, because I just told you that both the male leads go full frontal.) I haven't seen it yet, but apparently the dudes spend enough time naked that Scott and Schwartzman weren't even willing to sign on to the project unless they had prosthetics. It's not like we're talking about just a quick glimpse here, people.
But once they had the prosthetics on their bodies, it sounds like it was way less of a chore than you might imagine. Scott and his wife Naomi spoke to New York Magazine about his experience, but Schwartzman really took it to another level in his conversation with BuzzFeed News. Like, I don't want to exaggerate or anything, or dip into hyperbole, because I would rather be burned alive in a fire OMG, but Schwartzman is so excited about this fake member that I'm not convinced he can remember that he has a real one. Don't believe me? Read on.
There was something just kind of liberating [about it]. I felt quite happy to just be in it. They glue it on to you, over your swimsuit area. But then a thin strap of elastic lace was like up between your legs and is glued onto the small of your back. I guess there are all different kinds of prosthetics, but this is sort of like a Tempur-Pedic memory foam. If you wanted to, you could squeeze it, and it would kind of like slowly rise back up to its original [size]. So I call it a "tempur-penis."
First of all, delighted that someone is still using the term "swim-suit area" for their genitals, god bless, and second of all, DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ACTUAL PENIS DOES THAT? You can squeeze it and make it do things, and then if you leave it alone for a second, it naturally goes back to its original size. What did you think you had hanging between your legs all this time, my dude? Especially because the only problem he has with it is that it doesn't hold up in water, which is a bummer because a lot of the scenes were shot in a pool.
It got waterlogged. It was a little bit chilly when we were shooting, and the pool was like 100 degrees. So I was like, "I’ll just stay in here." And at a certain point, the makeup people [said], "You gotta get out because I think the penis is not going to be able to take this." I remember getting out and wringing it. It was fine. But it got heavier and heavier as the movie went on.
Hard to believe I'm the first person to tell you this, but the average penis is waterproof! So just by waking up in the morning and using your regular weiner, you can have all the benefits of a prosthetic without, y'know, needing to wring it out like a flesh sponge anytime it gets wet. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.
What a world.