Confession time: I lost my foot-pampering virginity this weekend. I know, how can someone live for 31 years without getting a pedicure? Well, here's the deal: My feet weren't completely neglected all that time. Rather, it's just that I've only ever soaked or rubbed or moisturized or painted my toenails myself.
So I have obviously not been schooled in the ways of luxury. And I'm not sure that you can call a mall nail salon a super luxurious place, but hey, I was impressed. The particular business I visited even served complimentary wine and soft drinks while your feet and hands are being spoiled, so there's that. Perhaps doing so is a given at most nail salons — I wouldn't know — but the massage chairs, the drinks, and the atmosphere were just about perfect in my book.
After spending so long being a little weirded out by the idea of some stranger rubbing my scaly feet, I finally decided to get over my pedi-anxiety (it was a little petty, too) and take the plunge. It was a girls' day with a sweet friend — a sort of extended celebration of my birthday two days before — motivated by being told how lovely it is to get a pedicure while you're pregnant (I'm 28 weeks).
So, I headed out to the mall without knowing exactly what to expect, but nevertheless excited. If you've never had a pedicure before, here are some emotional reactions you might experience. And if you're a pro at getting pedis, you'll know exactly what I mean.
1. Apprehension Over The State Of Your Feet
Well, there was no point making them look pretty for this, right? I'm aware of the fact that the only toe that still has remnants of polish from months ago on it is my big one, and that the hardened dead skin has got to go, but I'm really hoping these people don't judge me too badly for the state my feet are currently in. That's why I need their expertise!
2. Surprised By The Technicians
Oh, there are actually dudes who do this, too? I know this makes me seem completely ignorant, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that the nail business (like any business) shouldn't be one defined by gender. But prior to actually going to the salon, I figured it'd be a woman checking out my terrible-looking feet. Oh, I feel so sorry for this guy. But hey, kudos to him. Now there's actual proof that my husband can learn the tricks of this trade. (Wink, wink, babe.)
3. Confusion Over The Options
Well, I had no idea I'd be reading a menu at a nail salon. What do I get? What the heck is a paraffin wax? Should I indulge? The cheapest one just looks dull at this point. There are so many options! Geez, I hate making choices. This is exactly how I feel when I'm browsing through Netflix. OK, I'll take the middle road and opt for the Signature Pedicure. Ooh, hot towels!
4. Doubt About Your Social Status
Now that I've chosen a pedicure, and I'm settling into my environment, I look around the room. The other women are mostly middle aged, and with an air of confidence, seem to be completely at ease in their chairs while sipping their wine. I'm sure they can pick up on my ridiculous nervousness. But no, I'm not a silly little girl. I'm just as sophisticated as you. (Please say you didn't hear me when I giggled loudly because someone just touched my feet.)
5. Relief And Relaxation
OK, that hot water feels amazing. But the paraffin wax! Yes! This guy knows exactly what he's doing, and oh my goodness, how did I ever get through life without having this done before? And I can turn on this massage chair? I just want to sink deep into this seat and go to sleep. Goodbye, world.
6. Absolute Bliss
I could so get used to this. He doesn't even seem bothered by how disgusting my feet are. He's probably seen worse. This is the life.
I look over at my friend. "I'm so glad we did this," I say. Can this just last forever?
7. Grief That It's Over
Oh, you're finished putting that shellac on my toes? NO! Those 40 minutes were over too quickly. I wonder if it's too late to upgrade?
8. Delight Upon Looking At Your Feet
So worth it! They're soft and pretty. There's no "coloring outside of the lines." The polish is so shiny. All that dead skin has been scrubbed off, and all that's left is perfectly pedicured feet to go show off in those new sandals I'm dying to buy.
9. Pulling Out Your Calendar To Schedule Your Next One
Well, that has to happen again. Like soon. Like as soon as this shellac starts peeling off. Well, OK, when my paycheck allows for it. But it's definitely a priority, because that was awesome and such a good experience. I'm going to try not to look down at my beautiful feet too much as a walk outta here.
Images: Christie Drozdowski; Giphy