Earlier this week, One Directioner Harry Styles' unwashed shirt was auctioned and sold for nearly $5K. The Burberry, leopard print, short-sleeved tee was worn by the "Best Song Ever" crooner to a cat walk show for the Burberry brand, and was snatched up by a "unnamed Texas businessman" after 75 bids for a cool $4,845, the proceeds of which were donated to hardlyeverwornit.com in aid of UNICEF. But while we should be shocked by the fact that Styles' would offer up his soiled shirt for rando fans to bid on, what we're more shocked by is the fact that someone, or someones, would want to bid on such a...disgusting item. Needless to say, we're beyond curious to see what the "unnamed Texas businessman" would want with the British pop stars dirty laundry. Sadly, we may never know the answer to this titillating (sorry) question, but let's envision the options:
Scenario 1: Unnamed Texas Businessman was in a pinch after he spilled coffee on his button-down, needed a shirt, and happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Scenario 2: Unnamed Texas Businessman has a penchant for leopard print, and purchased the shirt to have stuffed and turned into an unhygienic throw pillow.
Scenario 3: Unnamed Texas Businessman thinks purchasing the soiled tee is an investment for the future. Because in 50 years, the shirt will be even more valuable, and even less clean.
Scenario 4: Unnamed Texas Businessman is actually Styles' agent, sent to bid on the shirt after receiving a phone call from Styles saying he wants the shirt back, dammit!
Scenario 5: Unnamed Texas Businessman plans to use the shirt in some sort of Life Size voodoo, where he hopes to transform into the mop-headed heartthrob.
Scenario 6: Unnamed Texas Businessman is actually Kendall Jenner, who had dinner with Styles' Wednesday night in LA, and wants a token to remember their evening by.
Scenario 7: Unnamed Texas Businessman is actually Taylor Swift, who plans to transform the tee's unwashed odor into a perfume line at Macy's: "Teenage Revenge".