Kim K Gets "Naughtycal," Whatever That Means

With 'Murrica's birthday this weekend, our culture's favorite love-her-or-hate-her reality queen found quite a way to celebrate. Kim Kardashian covers Rolling Stone in what I'm calling "naughtycal" fashion. Her bodacious boobies assert themselves while the mom-to-be wears a captain's cap, because she is in charge!

Kim K sharing mag cover space with her tatas is not a shock in 2015. Those bad boys are always on display. I have to say as someone with boobs that are pretty much in between a D and DD cup, I love this image. My boobs tend to look that way in that sort of top and sometimes I am like, "Is this too much?" Now, I feel kinship and kamaraderie with Kardashian because of it. I'm not kidding.

The cover lands this week, but the big fashion reveal of the feature, aka, the reason you never saw Kim K flash the paparazzi a la Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan? It's not because she favors granny panties, but because she is mostly a teetotaller. That's another trait I somewhat share with her.

"I rarely wear underwear, but that never happened to me," Kardashian said about not flashing her private parts when exiting a vehicle. "I was never drinking. . . I think that saved me a lot." She confessed to maybe tossing back "five shots of vodka in Vegas every three years."

So we know Kardashian goes kommando most of the time. That means she can't promote a lingerie line, since she doesn't wear the stuff and it'd be fake.

Any Kardashian stan worth their WiFi connection knows that this not Kim K's most, uh, revealing cover. Hi, Internet-slaying Paper cover! She wheels and deals in sexy.

It's memorable, but here nine other memorable Kim Kardashian kovers.

1. Marie Claire Makeunder

She went soft and girl-next-door for Marie Claire in December 2011. You cannot deny her natural prettiness.

2. Butt-Baring In Paper

Because I had to... it broke the Internet, for God's sake.

3. Naked (Again!) For W

Kim K was naked with a sense of pop culture humor for W! You can't blame her for shaking her moneymaker.

4. Barbie For Kurv

When Kardashian goes blonde, it makes headlines. But Kim K as Barbie? Okay, it works.

5. Beachy Blonde Bombshell On GQ

Her glossy, choco locks are her signature. But this beachy blonde bombshell look and sun-kissed skin was like her take on Brigitte Bardot.

6. Au Naturel x Allure

Is that Kardashian for realz? Yep! She was fresh-faced, wet-headed, and largely scrubbed of makeup for Allure in 2012.

7. Kimye On L'Officiel Hommes

The couple got sexual on the cover of L'Officiel Hommes. It felt like we kaught them mid-koitus.

8. Come On, Vogue

It caused a lot of kontroversy and also felt like their pre-wedding photo. She finally got her Vogue cover, to the dismay of some subscribers. But it was done in fairytale fashion and her smoky eye makeup slayed.

9. Killing That Kupcake For ELLE UK

Her January 2015 ELLE UK cover ruled because she was noshing on a cupcake and wearing high-waisted boy shorts. See, she does wear undies!

Those are the more unforgettable Kim Kardashian covers.

Images: Rolling Stone (1); Marie Claire (1); Paper (1); W (1); Kurv (1); GQ (1); Allure (1); L'Officiel Hommes (1); Vogue (1); ELLE UK (1)